Every Breath

I hold my breath because it hurts breath, everytime breath out makes me want to cry. I feel like a small child who’s mom loses them in the mall. Where do I go from here? Who can I trust. I’m all alone in a world full of people going about there business but I have no place, no purpose nowhere I belong. When I was child I used to wish my biological father would find me and save me. He would be amazing and I would have a happily ever after. I found him when I was 25. He asked to claim me as a dependent to get more money on his disability even though I was married. I met my siblings mwe aren’t close or even friends. His family had nothing to do with me even after 20 years of knowing about me. I found out he passed away on Facebook. Then slowly was removed from the rest of their socials. What did I do that was so horrible?