4/5/2013

 ok so I know I need to start counseling I’m just scared. My mind holds a lot of scary secrets and is very dark. I’ve always tild myself that so that happened or this happened get over it but never thought I’d start having to reviele it to any one. Here is one this that is dumb to feel guilty about. When I was 18 I had my oldest daughter Andrea well apparently I had a bacterial infection in my bag and no its not an STD I’ve never had one thank god. However the infection flared up and I didn’t know and gave birth to her and she seemed fine. A couple of hours later she started turning blue because of the infection. The drs took her to children’s in Columbus Ohio. She had to stay there for ten days but had no side effects from losing so much oxygen in her blood. She was supposed to have cerebral palsy and be mentally disabled but she has neither issues. So why do I feel guilty after so long i mean she’s going go be 19 in July yet I hold onto guilt.