another day

One class is particularly trying. I don’t have the control I need in there.

Hmm. How do I get students who hate learning to read and write?

I had this feeling with my sixth period last year. It’s my burden. But what if I’m a lousy teacher? What if I care but I don’t have the magic technique? What if teachers are born and not bred?

I’m asking myself these questions. I’m trying to figure out what I’d be best doing with the rest of my life.

But I don’t want to give the impression I’m giving up on them. I’ll be back on Monday with another lesson, ready to teach. I’m going to the high school tomorrow to learn about technology (waste of time though).

I have this nagging suspicion that all education is SELF-education and school should be a place to inspire and surround ourselves with other interested people. Above all I try to generate interest in the subject. If I can get a classroom discussing something, I’d rather have that than complete silence while I dictate “THE PAST”.

So my room isn’t always silent. But in those classes where I start feeling like I’m losing control? That’s an awful feeling. I have to yell to get them quiet. I kick kids out of the room. I look at them. And they get quiet. But after all that the spark is gone. Then it becomes TELLING them the past. I can put on an authoritative voice. I can tell you about Peter the Great in Russia and I can make up the stuff I don’t know to make you think I know it all.

That’s another thing. When you tell children you don’t know something they almost feel like you are a fraud. I guess other teachers don’t admit ignorance. That’s sad because I hear some of them speaking.

BUt I was never trained as a teacher and maybe that’s a technique you learn in Education classes.

How to Sound Like You Know What the Fuck You Are Talking About 101