something I care about.

Today, I dropped all of my library science classes.  I do not intend to pick them up again.  I’ve finally come to a decision.

I’ve spent the last year hating library science.  I was afraid to drop it because it was secure, it was easy, and it might someday lead to a job.  Those are shitty reasons for doing something.

Every day I was in library science, I hated it.  I’ve always wanted to do something meaningful with my life, and librarians spend a large chunk of their time justifying their existence to the taxpayers who fund them.  That is a shitty way to spend time.

There is something I care about, a lot.  Actually, there’s a few.  One curls up by my feet every night.  One sticks his paw in my mouth.  And even when my dog is being so fucking annoying that I want to kill her, I still care about her, too.  I love animals.  I have always loved animals.

So I figured I would become a vet.  To start with, I’m going to get a third bachelor’s degree, this time in biology.  I do not have to take any general education requirements because I have a degree.  In two years, I could be a biologist.  Then it would be vet school, which takes 4 years.  Sure, it’s a long time, but it’s a long time with PURPOSE.  It has meaning to me.  Instead of throwing my money away on a degree I do not give a single fuck about, I will be doing something about which I care deeply. 

I can eventually run my own veterinary practice, where I will let people pay for their pets’ procedures with payment plans instead of demanding upfront payment.  If a pet’s life can be saved, doing so shouldn’t be the privilege of the rich.  And I’ll work with a shelter to spay and neuter pets at cost so that they can be adopted instead of needlessly euthanized.  And I’ll probably cry like a baby the first time I have to euthanize a pet, but I’ll know that I’m ending its suffering because there was no other way to relieve it.

I probably will not make a penny, but that’s all right.  I wasn’t going to be making many pennies anyway.