12/28/2013

I made it through the end of the semester. Straight As. Somehow managed to get an A in biochemistry, and though it should feel like an achievement, it doesn’t. Just another worthless fucking mark in my worthless fucking transcript.

Whatever.

I find it increasingly difficult to relate to people. Trying to seems pointless. I’m trying to disconnect myself from people, and for the most part they haven’t noticed. This is reassuring.

I beat myself black and blue with a belt a few weeks ago. The bruises are still healing. It didn’t even hurt, not really, or maybe it was just irrelevant that it did.

Most everything is irrelevant.

My mom doesn’t have the balls to call me on the fact that I’m stealing her pills, but I somehow can’t use that to justify my actions. Good people don’t prey on the weak. But I’m not a good person, as it turns out.

My college is only giving me $1200 for the next semester, which will cover exactly one class. I need to get an alternate loan for the rest, and that’s predatory as shit. I don’t care. It’s not like I’m ever going to pay the loans off.