12/15/2011

 Tomorrow is my second-to-last day of work.  Saturday is my last day. 

I have been thinking about it, and getting angry again.  I am trying not to, because there’s really no point in expending the energy to be mad, and if there’s no recourse, what’s the point?

BUT the fact remains that I am giving up my life because my sister told me to.  At no point did she ask if I wanted to move 350 miles, quit my job, or drop out of school. 

I’m not going to get angry though.  No, there’s no point in that.  It’s not like it will change anything, or stop me from being a throw rug that people just walk on.

I don’t know how to say “no.”

It seems easy enough in theory.

But I guess I’m just too fucking stupid to get it.

I think my sister is very manipulative. 

I guess I DID have a choice.  I could have quit school and gotten a second job.  Moved back into the city.  It might have worked out. 

Let’s be honest, though.  I didn’t have a choice.  My sister decided that I would be moving home, and built her life around that, and knew I wouldn’t be “mean” enough to ruin her plans.  “Oh, I’m not going to get an apartment until you move home…I HATE living here with BF’s parents, but soon YOU’LL come here and we can live together.”

It pisses me off.  It pisses me off more that I let her do it without so much as mentioning it.  And I’ll never tell her that I’m angry and tired of being manipulated. 

Whatever.