12/08/2011

Christmas is coming; the goose is getting fat.  Please put a penny in an old man’s hat.  If you haven’t got a penny, a half-penny will do.  If you haven’t got a half-penny, God bless you.

One of the hazards of playing piano is that you learn the lyrics to a lot of really obscure Christmas carols.  I’m probably the only person in the world who knows the second verse of “Away in a Manger.”  And I can sing 2 different “Ave Maria”s, not that anyone would want to hear me do so.  I like Schubert’s better.

I went to work today and it made me desperately want to quit.

I studied for some exams that don’t matter and that I don’t especially give a fuck about.

I was approved for my school loan so I can keep going to school forever and ever until I die or something.

I’m running out of insulin so I need to go to the doctor and have the prescription renewed.  I hate doctors.  I suppose I could just die or something.

I’m trying to do a thousand things and none of it’s going well.  None of it’s going at all in fact. I need to finish packing up this house but I can’t find the motivation and Sister’s BF ranks at exactly 0 on the helpfulness scale.  I don’t know what he did today, on his day off, but I know what he DIDN’T do.

On Sunday, my only day off, I cleaned, packed, and studied.  All work and no play.  Not that I could have any fun playing.  If I’m not productive I get stressed out and panic.  Like I might be right now.  I got off work at 6, and vowed to be unproductive but now I feel like shit about it.  It’s not like I’m going to fail my chemistry exam tomorrow if I don’t study.  It just feels like I should.  Study, that is.  Or, really…fail.

I’m not especially tired at night but I’ll go to bed early.  It’s better than being awake.

Everyone always says that it will get better.  I wonder.