11/26/2013

I’ve had practice wanting,

but not being wanted.
I’ve been broken longer
than I was whole.
I fell apart and no one knew,
what was I supposed to do
but pick myself up and move on?
 
I learned not to ask what matters,
I learned to shrug it off.
I learned to live with waiting,
I learned to live with dying.
 
And at the end of the night
when I was promised morning
the sun never rose at all.
And at the end of the winter
when I wished for spring,
another foot of snow fell.
 
I said goodbye to all of that,
I bowed my head and prayed.
But god doesn’t answer the wicked
and I wasn’t asking to be saved.