07/09/2012

I’m down to about five or six hours of sleep a night.  Sometimes it’s less.  It’s hardly ever more.

The weather is miserable, all bright sunny days, no clouds, no rain. 

I’ve been irritable.  This is probably related to the lack of sleep, but if it is, it’s the only side effect I’ve noticed.

I’ve managed to keep a lid on it.  I haven’t been rude, I haven’t said anything I’d regret.  There are no hurt feelings, so that’s good.  Even when my sister was hovering around me and I wished she’d just go the fuck away and learn to do something independently, I didn’t say a word.

I took her fiancé’s sociology exam today.  It’s an online class.  She bribes me to do the tests for him.  I don’t want to, but she’s very manipulative.  If I say yes, and just do the work, I get something shiny and new.  If I stand up for what I believe is right and say no, I get ignored and shamed.

I might as well get something shiny and new out of it.  What good are principles, anyway?  Yeah, I know I’m a weak piece of shit.  I might be everything wrong with America today.

I suppose irritability isn’t the only side effect of my lack of sleep.  Or maybe I mean to say that lack of sleep isn’t the only thing causing irritability.

It doesn’t matter, though.