Why can’t I ever think of a clever title?

I’m having a baby shower! Please visit:

http://www.webbabyshower.com/mullen/

I usually don’t even BOTHER titling my entries, as most of you know. Not that it matters, but you’d think for… well, I’m a pretty decent writer, but I can never think of a good title, and by the time I’m done with my entry, I’ve forgotten about the title entirely, lol.

Life was pretty laid back today. I’m still going back and forth about the C-section. I THINK I could convince him to let me do a VBAC, we’ve done plenty of reading/research on the subject, and the fact that I had one successful VBAC means that the next one has an even better chance of being successful. BUT, there are other considerations, namely, do I want to have the tubes tied or not, the timing (ability to schedule and get a babysitter for the other four), and there are still SOME safety issues, plus since I haven’t SEEN a doctor, supposedly this automatically puts me at "high risk" though I would think if everything checks out… well, c’mon! I’ve had two healthy pregnancies before, my C-section was due to breech presentation, I have done one successful VBAC.   Monitor the fetal heart, go natural childbirth (which I DID the first time, if I didn’t mention that… my labor was two hours, there was NO TIME for drugs anyway!) I’m willing to go natural again, and would expect this delivery to go even faster than the last one. Although, I admit that gives me pause too. That might actually be a reason to choose C-section over vaginal birth… If we can’t get going in time, I could have this baby in the car. I’m just not keen on the idea of mutilating my body even further, and I prefer to go nature’s way of handling things. But, I was told I can tell the hospital I have a no bottle policy, so that would go a long way in my fears about being able to breastfeed (though I SUSPECT I’ll have to supplement anyway, as I did with Sammi… though I THINK I can handle two weeks of having the baby attached constantly, lol. They say that’s the window for non-nipple confusion, and actually, between two and five weeks, you SHOULD bottle feed, unless you want an infant that will NEVER take a bottle and will only take the breast… NO THANK YOU!) I’m just basing this on my experiences with Sammi and Shabree. Sammi especially, since I never really GOT breast feeding going with Breezy. Not that it seems to have made ANY difference in her winning personality ;)… LOL, I only joke a LITTLE, because if you met her, you’d know exactly what I meant. She’s a charmer. In other words, by now I’ve kind of realized that it’s in the attitude more than anything. I MOURNED not being able to breastfeed Shabree though… cried my eyes out. With Sammi…well, at five months, I was kind of ready to give it up… laziness I know. THAT is something I MUST overcome. I keep busy, but I’m never quite sure with WHAT. The house does NOT stay clean because of me, let’s just put it that way.
I’m not looking forward to not being able to even GET into a pool for 6-8 weeks. It’s a small thing, but it just sort of magnifies the whole… situation. It’s MAJOR surgery. There IS recovery time. I heal pretty quickly, but I’m older now… this pregnancy has really shown me that. I’m SO much more tired…well, actually I’m NOT as tired, I don’t think as the last one, because I actually sleep and nap MUCH more than the last pregnancy. But walking to the school and back is just exhausting to me. So I have no real idea how long the recovery period will be for me. But it’ll be mid-July, or August before I can really get in the pool. Though, I admit to a certain… well, I HATE our pool. But if we get money, I’m having a better pool built, and then I REALLY will miss not being able to get in it. Though if I have my way, that pool will be swim-able all year long, even in the colder winter months.
I’m kind of leaning towards the C-section. It really is all about the attitude. If I approach it as MY choice instead of a choice taken away from me by my doctor, I’ll deal with it much better. I was really looking forward to another "war story" though, lol, of a drug free hour long labor, lol… not quite fair, is it? But if I get the tubal, then I don’t have to worry about ever again accidentally getting pregnant, and that would be a pretty good relief. If I want more children, I’ll adopt. I prefer the thought actually. And by adopt, I mean an older child, not an infant. So no biggie there. That way, I can keep my promise to myself of no more pregnancies, no matter how much my hormones argue with me about it. I’ll make sure they know that the baby doesn’t get a bottle… I’ll keep him/her with me around the clock after the surgery and it can nurse to its heart’s content. 🙂 I’ll probably spend those first two weeks afterwards with my butt on the couch anyway, lol… watching tv is about the only thing I’ve found I can do with a nursing infant. I watched MORE tv in the first few weeks with Sammi than I had in YEARS, lol. I’m not a big tv person, but I’ll figure SOMETHING out… maybe rent a redbox DVD every day. That could be fun, lol.   I’m wondering if I should call my mom in to help or not. If I do, then now is the time to do it.
I’m not completely turned around in my decision, just leaning that way. It’s one of those things… I’ve got very little control over it in ANY case. Every day we put our lives into other people’s hands, and whether it’s God, or Fate, or what, our lives are only partially our own. We can do what we can to insure our safety, but in the end… we’re going to die when we’re going to die. It isn’t something we can hinge every fear on. I mean, as I told Sydni, death isn’t actually the worst thing that could ever happen to you. Though God forbid I get incapacitated somehow. That I probably do fear worse than death…well, not bodily, but mentally.
So let’s not go there.
I need to wrap up here. I’ve been rambling as usual. Not that today really yielded anything interesting to relate anyway 😉 But I’m sure I could have come up with SOMETHING….;) Man… am I some sort of Seinfeld… in a diary about a life about nothing? LOL… just kidding. I actually never cared for Seinfeld. Mostly it was the "sidekicks" I find the man himself to be pretty darn funny, but the show just made me embarrassed for the characters… though the "king of his domain" episode was… priceless I MUST say. LOL.   Other than that, I rarely watched the show, and usually turned the channel after ten minutes. I just wanted to say I TRIED to watch it, I gave it a shot, and I TRULY did not care for it.

Anyway, that’s it.