When will the weepiness stop?

I was talking to Jerry in the car last night about some of the stuff that’s been bothering me, and just broke down in tears.  It…. really isn’t like me to be crying so much, though I’m certainly not TOO tough to cry, I do often hold things in, and lately it’s just too much to bear.  I found myself up at 3, 4 am writing him a letter…and I didn’t even give it to him, I just put it away.  Things ARE better, but they’re not resolved.  Things feel like they could slip anytime.  I have been managing to stay off the computer some/more, I’ve gotten out…heck, yesterday I had a couple of hours just to myself!  I had sushi, read People magazine, and had half a 2 liter bottle of Diet Dr Pepper…had to pee SO bad when I got home, lol… but I enjoyed my little break.  And then last night, after looking at a car (we didn’t buy, too many issues, too bad, cute car.  But when the A/C is out, who KNOWS what it’s going to take, and how much it’ll be, to fix it?) we then went to a business meeting about our web site and getting its ranking up, THEN, Jerry took me, at 9:15 at night, to Red Lobster for endless shrimp.  I STUFFED myself, probably put down 1500 calories, yikes!  Ask me if I care though, it was worth every delicious bite.  It was a full night…though EVERY SINGLE ONE of our kids was up when we got home at 11, even Alex hadn’t been put to bed…Becca’s lame excuse was that no one would help her, she’d changed her, asked Syd to put her to bed, and Syd hadn’t. 

I’m going to have to wrap up…too much to do.  I’ve got to put out my weekend signs, which I need to make some double sided signs up for places I think they might be taken from, or simply want to test…but it’s not likely that the signs will be taken over the weekend.  Actually, we got a call from one sign put out last weekend, so whoohoo for that, and I even managed to save the sign, they’re 15 dollars each, well, Jerry traded carpet cleaning for them.  They’re nice, professional signs.  So I’ve got to put them out…only drawback to them is they’re one sided, so don’t give us adequate coverage on some corners.  I found myself at 9 last Sunday night picking up signs…knew I wouldn’t want to do it at 7 the next morning!  We have a new van, it’s an old Super Shuttle, holds 10 people and we got it for about 1500, though it needs a paint job.  It’s huge though, but it drives like a charm, I love driving it.  I can see through the window at night!  It’s a pain to park though, because it’s so big.  But it turns really well.  It’s not clunky feeling at all.  The only problem is that something is wrong with the steering column, so it won’t always start…you have to have it placed JUST so to get it to start, and it can take sometimes up to 10 tries to get it to start.  So I don’t like that at all.  But driving it’s fun.   I HAD more to say, but Sammi distracted me, she needed help with putting some alphabet stamps she dumped out back, so I was teaching her, it was a good opportunity for learning.

Not sure if I mentioned ever, except for Bec, I QUIT home school, and I am LIBERATED.  Shabree and Syd go back on Monday, thank goodness.  Now to just give my attention to Sammi and Alex.  Oh, and I think Sammi wants to spell her name Sammy, I showed her both of them, asked her which one she preferred, and that was it.  I don’t care, it’s HER nickname, not her given name, I spell it weird, and it should ultimately be her decision anyway :).  So I figure, whatever.  I never got a nickname, Sarah is just always going to be Sarah.  No one ever called me Sar, or I don’t even KNOW what else you could make from that.  I’m so glad my kids can all have nicknames.  It’s nice when you can play with that, make games and songs out of it, etc.

I’ve got to go, really.  Hopefully Jerry gets home soon.  I got a call at 7:22 a.m. asking if their carpets could be done today… sure, why not?  So he did that at noon…we were SUPPOSED to have a welfare to work thing at what we THOUGHT was 9:30, didn’t happen, so we rescheduled.  Crazy, and grrr.

Got to go already.