So sad

My friend Linda… how do I put this?  Decided not to be friends with me anymore.  I am mostly done crying at this point, but I probably spent an hour, maybe longer, just pouring my heart out into my tears.  The words heart broken describe how I feel pretty well.  I am at a point where I just want to get over it, be done with it, and never dwell on it again.  I am mad.  I am mad I put energy into worrying about her.  I am mad that someone could just drop me with no word like that, someone I considered a very close friend.  I was crying on the phone… had to get off, because I couldn’t talk.  I don’t think I can ever call her again.  I feel so…ashamed.  Angry for crying.  And just hurt, hurt, hurt.  She told me on the phone we were going in opposite directions, I’d gotten into all these businesses, and she "tried to tell you" but "you wouldn’t listen"  Why do I have to be the kind of person who is so easily hurt?  I do want to just harden my heart.  Shabree is mad, and was crying too…Syd wanted to call her and yell at her, but the first thing I did when I got off the phone was deleted her off the phone.  That was probably a good thing, I don’t think I’d want Syd thinking she was defending me, when really she’s just not being very polite.  Though maybe politeness should be on the last of my worries list in this situation.  I am sure she knows how much I was hurt… there is this part of me that hopes she feels ashamed for her part in it.  I think it will be best if I never talk to her again though.  I just need to be done.