Okay, I knew this

Home schooling is WORK.  I am exhausted.  It’s not like I went into this thinking Oh, it’s going to be SO EASY.  No… no delusions here.  Especially after starting with Sydni when she first got her materials.  I mean, honestly… I knew it was going to be a lot of work.  I think… what I wasn’t expecting was just how mentally draining it was going to be.  I mean, my girls barely get along.  Becca crumpled up some of Shabree’s work!  I had to have a "lesson in compassion" with her, where I asked how she’d feel if HER work was crumpled because it wasn’t "right"?  And let me just say… it was a crayon drawing of the ocean and she was trying to add a continent to it… Becca thought it was too messy, and Shabree should  have started with the continent, so she crumpled up her work.  I told Becca it wasn’t like I expected her to help Shabree… just to be nice in how she turned her down, and if she DID help, not to crumple up her work.  It wasn’t like we were expecting ART from Shabree, it was just part of a history lesson we’d just done, a lesson in geography to help her understand her history better.  Sort of the prelude to history.  Shabree was barely interested, and we ended up with a half hour lecture on WHY she had to actually DO SCHOOL.  And the odd part is… Shabree WANTED to homeschool so she could do more work!  And now she doesn’t want to do that.  Syd hit four hours, declared herself done, and quit for the day.  I had her do one or two more things, but had to rush off to the doctor to have my skin looked at.  Acne, such fun.  Now I have to buy a gentle cleanser, and I’ve got a topical something or other, but I can’t take the oral something or other (probably an antibiotic) until I finish up breastfeeding, and God only knows how long that’ll be.  Dr Vails said, baby first, face next, and I agree with that completely.  Alex needs me more, and I’m proud to be among the minority in America who are breastfeeding into year two.  LOL… how uppity I sounded.  Oh well.  It was so hard to get here, I am just enjoying the ride now.

Anyway, I’ve got to look at where Syd is at… she pretty much schooled herself today (go Syd!  I was so proud of her.  I think it helped she took her medicine, and there was a HUGE difference between the time before she took it and the time it kicked in…) including checking everything off.  So I have to see how much she has left to do this week and make sure it gets done.  We MAY do something along the lines of get all your work done by Thursday, take Friday off.  And Jerry helped Becca with her math, and she was very grateful not to be sitting there twiddling her thumbs wondering what to do.  So… it’s working!  It’s working BASICALLY like it’s supposed to!  And except for the squabbles… things are going well, it seems like.  Becca did move "her" computer (the powerbook w/ an airport card) out to the living room, until we can get that room wired and 4 computers put in there so everyone has her own computer.  I do not know why they don’t give each kid their own computer… sharing has been a nightmare, truth be told.  We don’t do much printing, and it’s helpful to have the lessons up on the computer, even if they’re in the book, w/ the answers right there, and the teacher’s guide.  I mean, I’ve already managed to misplace my teacher’s guide for Shabree’s spelling (doggone it!)… though it seems possible I never got one in the first place, truthfully.  However, it’s all up there on the computer, so there’s really no worry.  Anyway, it’ll be good if everyone can have their own computer.  And I certainly have enough of those to go around (quite a few were purchased when we had the business, but they need monitor cables, and possibly a monitor)

The doctor’s office had me at 199 even.  The Wii has me around there as well, and my upstairs scale has me around 199.6.  I’m not losing… but right now, I don’t care.  I’m too TIRED to care, lol.

 Which brings me to another problem.  I haven’t exercised in three days.  Not good.  I am (sort of) watching what I eat, but without the exercise, I am not going to really lose weight.  Eh, I’ll get back on track.  I’ll probably do half an hour tonight, and then go to bed. 

We went to Hometown Buffet for dinner tonight, and I was pretty careful about what I ate, and when i was full, I quit.  I watched another woman though, and her plate was LOADED… Loaded I tell you.  3 pieces of chicken, huge helpings of this and that… and I thought to myself, that woman needs to learn portion control.  Seriously… portion control is the KEY to at the very least, keeping your weight the same, but definitely for losing.  Oh well… her problem, not mine.  A good reminder, all the same.

This whole weight loss thing… I feel ready to quit.  I over, over did it on Monday, was it?  Must have been Sunday, and I haven’t felt like pursuing it since.  But I definitely don’t want to put the weight back on, that would be HORRIBLE, so for now, just right now, I am okay being in a holding pattern until I can convince myself to get back on track.  Plus, I just want my body to adjust to BEING this weight… not have to be 225 pounds… be happy with 200 (199!).  Everyone has a "set point"  I need to adjust my set point downwards. 

So yea, enough weight talk, I expect.  Of course, it’s my diary, and this is what makes up my life right now, so it’s going to be what I talk about.  I can’t exercise or even fold laundry without obsessive thoughts about how much weight I need to lose though, it’s kind of frustrating, because I can’t get that internal voice to SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!!!  

LOL.  Truly though.  Shut up voice.

Man, I am CRAVING sleep.  I’m not ready for bed, and I want to stay up til 11… last night, I went to bed at 10, and didn’t fall asleep until 12, which was frustrating as hell.  I’d LOVE to read a book…but I know I’ll be up all damn night if I do that, so I won’t.  I’ll wait til the weekend.  

I guess I’ll save this, and go do some step, just so the Wii doesn’t talk to me tomorrow about skipping a day.  I hate that nagginess that it has.  But whatever.  In this case, it’s helpful.  In the case where my weight fluctuates because of water but it wants to know what I’m doing wrong… I hate the damn thing.  So yea.  Exercise time.