NoJoMo Day 17

Letting Sammi watch Dragon Tales.  I’ll probably let her watch one more show, then turn the tv off.  That’ll give her an hour and 20 minutes of tv… Seasme Street, Dragon Tales, and Word World.  3 of my own personal favorites when it comes to children’t tv.  When Seasme Street was ending, they were playing some jazzy music, and Sammi just started dancing to it… SO cute.  I was feeding Alex, and basically putting her to sleep, lol.  Sometimes she just falls asleep, it’s weird, because usually she’s a little Energizer Bunny, going, going, and going.  But after being up most of yesterday, I finally took her up to our room about 5, and fell asleep myself.  At 5:20, dinner was called, so I left.  Well, she FINALLY woke up at 11:30 or thereabouts.  I actually checked to make sure she was breathing at 11.  We had checked on her periodically of course, but had kept our distance… this time I actually went and listened to her breathe.  Of course, she was fine.  I don’t know what I would have done if she wasn’t… don’t want to think about it actually.  I worry too much. 

Mmmm, these oatmeal raisin cookies are even BETTER the second day.  Yum.  Next time I’ll have to make a double batch.  They’re just too good for words.  I got the recipe from allrecipes.com.  This is recipe 4 or 5, I think… I can’t remember.  It’s got cinnamon in it, and you plump the raisins in eggs for an hour before adding to the mix and cooking.  I was thinking next time I might just let it sit for an hour and let the oatmeal absorb some of the moisture instead of adding flax or flour, though the flax DOES add some nutritional value.  But yea, even better today.  I might be forced to make another batch today, lol. 

Sammi decided my lap looked better (though I imagine my cookie was part of it!) than Dragon Tales.  She stinks some, needs a bath… but I dare not SAY the word, or I’ll be forced to give her one.  She loves baths, and KNOWS the word, so if you say she needs a bath, she beings stripping so she can have one.  LOL… little stinker, she’s really smart.  Okay, she went back to watching tv.  I really don’t mind her watching these shows, they’ve got some good lessons in them.  Better this than Spongebob, but they all like S.B.  Even *I* like him, though I don’t know why!  Stupid humor… but so doggone funny.  Maybe I’m just getting to be less of a snob in my "old" age, lol   I really was… am, quite a snob when it comes to certain things.  I say I live a Seinfeld life, but I really couldn’t stand Seinfeld.  I thought it ridiculous and I felt sorry for the characters, which made me mad at them.  Maybe I’ve had a dose of… well, I don’t know.

Wow… Word World just came on… I’ve been typing for half an hour, because Dragon Tales had just started when I started this entry.  Hm…  no, forget it, I NEED to write and I need to ramble when I write.  LOL.  Perish the thought I might write less… or God forbid, organize my thoughts!  It’s MY diary doggone it.

Whispering Wind had some vidoes on her diary about this girl, a prodigy really, who is a self taught painter, and says she is God inspired.  Part of me doesn’t want to take her seriously… out of fear I am sure.  Part of me wonders if she is part of the second coming.  I’ve long had a sneaky suspicion that the second coming of Christ would appear as a female, just to mess with everyone’s ideals about what God is, and should be.  And why not?  Shabree was saying again last night that God calls her name.  I hear MY name in my head sometimes.  I don’t know if it’s God, or one of my spirit guides.  Tiator used to call me silly girl.  She doesn’t do that so much anymore… I must have grown up some.  You know, if my mother had called me silly girl, I’d have hated it, but when I hear that voice in my head calling me silly girl, I can feel the love behind it, and I don’t mind.  Mom never called me a name without some sort of tone that felt more like "stupid girl"  Okay, enough of THAT.  I was walking to the library with Becca on Saturday… actually we were walking home, and I was telling her about how I used to think about killing myself every single day, how my guardian angels had their hands full with me, they had to work overtime, lol.  But here I am.  The changes I’ve undergone seem somehow unfathomable.  Like, WOW, I actually got to a space of feeling well, feeling pretty good about my life.  I always had hope it might happen, but I’m not sure I ever believed it actually WOULD.  Well, maybe I did.  Funny though, in all my visions of what the future might hold, I never saw a husband.  I saw Shabree, I saw the potential for other children, but I never saw a husband.  I kind of assumed I’d probably marry, but I always saw myself as a mother, not as a wife.  Now I’m both… and I like it a lot.

I should go check on my laundry.  I’m exhausted of the laundry… not just tired of it, exhausted of it, lol.  But I really need to get on top of it so I can clean the laundry room out, and the upstairs hallway where I fold clothes.  Being able to show people around the house at Thanksgiving would be wonderful.  🙂   Becca started cleaning her bathroom, but she didn’t get too far.  I’m NOT sure what is so difficult about cleaning a bathroom… eh.  Even Becca will tell you she’s lazy… she almost wears it as a badge of pride.  She says it with a grin, like it’s something to be proud of.  DOES NOT make her daddy too happy.

I’d better get wrapped up here, Word World will be over in 15 minutes, the tv is going off, and I will need to find something to do with Sammi, and perhaps Alex, whom I THINK Sammi probably woke up.  I’ve been sitting here using the heating pad, hoping to increase the milk production (naturally), but I can’t sit here all day… I need those breast pads you can sitck in the microwave then wrap around the breasts, making for a portable solution, not to mention one that would stimulate ALL the ducts, not just the ones on the topside. 

Whoooo… all of a sudden I feel dizzy and tired.  Maybe I ought to go lay down for a bit.  I think I’m done anyway.  Oh, I definitely hear Alex cooing.  At least she’s not crying!