NoJoMo Day 12

I think I forgot to mention… after ALL the drama with Sydni’s ear… she took the earring OUT.  Her ear was red and sore by the next morning, so she took it out, and by the time I saw her that afternoon, the hole was STILL red and sore looking.  So much for piercing her ear.  Sigh.

I love her… I really do.  She is, however, SO high maintenance.  God, I hate to sound so negative when it comes to Sydni.  I was remembering her infancy, and even then… she was the most senstivie child.  And you contrast that to Becca who is tough and easy going, even though she can be a rotten teenager… you know once she’s past this teen stage, she’ll be fine.  And you contrast Syd to Shabree who is generally so good natured (though she really is picking up on some of Bec and Syd’s ornriness, which… grrr).  Even Sammi’s moodiness can’t really hold a candle to Syd’s.  It’s just going to take something… extra to make sure Syd stays on a path that leads to being a good adult.  She is the one I worry about the most.  The past issues with the stealing, the taking of medications, her stubborness, her "I’m always right" attitude, the issues with the porn magazines!!!!  Good Lord, the list feels endless.  SOME of it is better.  She’s not taken anything in quite awhile without checking first.  She’s not been caught with any Playboy’s, or worse… she listens to instructions better.  I’ll take it.  She’s just one hell of a needy child, and with 4 other children… it’s hard to meet all her needs.  But she’s a good big sister, and she can be SO helpful when she wants to be (though watch out when she doesn’t want to be, because you’ll never hear the end of it!) and she’s generous to a fault, though Becca’s just about trained THAT out of her…

I gotta switch topics.  I’m just… going on too much about Sydni.  We’re seeing improvements.  We told Syd she needs to put the work in if she expects to pass 4th grade.  Hopefully, she’ll be fine.

So here it is, 3:30 a.m. and I’m just… only a little tired.  Now, that’s frustrating.  I should be in bed.  The baby’s sleep schedule is all messed up yet again, and I’m not getting ANY freaking time to myself that isn’t filled with one kid or another…. I cherish this night time quiet.  And I’m not getting it for the most part.  She’s asleep NOW, but she’s only been asleep for an hour… hour and a half, and she could wake up at any moment now.  I have an incredibly whacked out sleep schedule as it is, but this is just getting worse, and ridiculous. 

Mmmm, more negativity.  Maybe it’s too late and I should not be writing.  I always was much more negative when I hadn’t had enough sleep… part of my depression issues in the past.  I always had, how do I explain it?  My nights could be awful, but then I’d go to sleep, and when I’d wake up, I’d feel fine.  Much better, much happier, and sometimes almost normal, more so as I got older.  Which is partially what led me to reason that I must have my sleep.  But I think in addition, I must have a sleep schedule that is KIND of normal… *smiles*  Ha.  I just beat myself up, because it used to make my mom so mad when I’d be up all night, and sleep half the day.  I didn’t get up til after 11 this morning, but of course, that was after not falling asleep til almost 5.  Of course, that kind of sleep schedule doesn’t really mesh with Sammi’s.

Eh… I’m going to wrap up and go to bed.  I AM tired, I DO need my sleep, and it’s just better that I go get it.