Light vs Dark

I’m having a baby shower! Please visit:

http://www.webbabyshower.com/mullen/

I sent the girls to the park for an hour… Bec has to watch Sammi for half an hour, Sydni half an hour.  We’ll see how THAT goes, but I’ve lost track of how long they’ve been gone now.  Seems like the hour is just about up… I’ve been reading all my faves and noting, and that’s time consuming.  When did OD become SUCH an addiction for me?  I despise it when the computer is an addiction.  BUT, I sent the kids to the park for a reason, so I guess I should relax and enjoy it.
I’ve had two people ask me about chat this last week.  Funny when a "coincidence" happens.  See, I do NOT believe in coincidences.  All things happen for a reason in my world, and coincidences are often God, or SOME higher power’s way of nudging you in a certain direction.  WHAT chat has to do with that, I’m not entirely sure, lol… perhaps, to quote the almost ALWAYS wrong Freud, a "cigar is just a cigar" and it really has no basis in that particular reality ;). 
However, I had also been thinking about getting on chat to chase down my ex-husband, whom I haven’t been able to find.  This may sound bad, but it’s not.  The ONE thing about our marriage that was super good was that we had the BEST conversations.  We used to talk about spirituality, religion, politics (not that either of us were political…), psychic things, numerology, UFOs… there weren’t many topics we didn’t cover, some of them admittedly were "out there" and I know we both got tired of the flakes that tended to be in the group of people that practiced metaphysics.  We were very careful not to dabble in anything "dark" as we didn’t want the spiritual trouble.  We even shied away from Ouija boards because it’s too easy to unknowingly invite in lesser spirits.  I know some people don’t believe in these things, but I certainly do.  I do not tolerate darkness in my life, human OR spiritual.  I’ve learned some neat tricks along the way to protect myself from the spiritual darkness.  Simply ordering a spirit out, not granting permission in the first place goes a long way, but then there’s always seeing yourself surrounded with a circle of white light.  That works because dark spirits can’t stand the light.   When pregnant with Sammi, I found that I had a lot of nasty drastic visions of things like knives being stuck into me, of the girls being kidnapped on the way to school, and I don’t even remember what else.  I actually kind of had to MAKE myself go to the bathroom, because a lot of these visions happened then.  I have a certain fear of toilets, lol… I don’t know if I’ve seen one too many scary movies, or if there’s SOMETHING about the nature of toilets that draws evil spirits, or maybe I’m just a nut??   LOL…  Or perhaps it was just THAT house.  Anyway, for some reason, during my first trimester, things seemed to be really messing with me big time.  And there’s a different "feel" it seems when it’s external as to when it’s being created in one’s own head.  I’m pretty sure I’m typically of sound mind and body.  I speak reasonably for the most part, know the difference between right and wrong, try to do right… etc.  I am pretty sure I have my mental and moral bearings is what I’m saying.  So to have these visions was scary.  I got to talking to my friend Linda about it and it her suggestion was that I simply order them out.  And… it worked.  I suppose a case COULD be made for the power of one’s mind over one’s body, and that if I BELIEVE these things to be true, then for me, they ARE.  I just felt out of control over the situation for a bit there, and that was a problem. 
I will admit, some of it is "out there."
However, I was having a back and forth conversation with a gal who is a devout Christian, about some of my beliefs, and I’m FULLY aware that some of them are out of the realm of Christianity.  It was HER suggestion that perhaps the Devil was telling me some of these things.  And I could only think "You just don’t know me at all."  And that’s fine, she DOESN’T know me.  I do everything I can to make sure I’m living in Light, and that I put up many barriers to elements of darkness entering.   It’s simply not a welcome "thing" in my life. 

One thing I did read in the Bible, which rather shocked me at the time, is that the Devil "owns" (or is the Master of) the Earth.  The story goes that during Christ’s 40 days and nights in the dessert, the Devil tempted Christ with being master of the Earth in exchange for Christ’s subservience to the Devil.  Christ, of course, refused.
Wow… how interesting!   I admit, I STILL haven’t really drawn any conclusions on the greater meaning of this, but it’s just… odd that humans are what, sent to a place that is "owned" by a being of darkness.  Or maybe we’re not sent… maybe we choose to come here?  WHY?  Why would we go ANYWHERE where the master of the domain is a being of darkness?  It makes NO sense to me.  Reader’s thoughts on this are welcome, though as always, you must sign your note, and if I can’t respond to you, you can’t leave a note… sorry, but I’ve got to protect myself somehow :).  I tend towards a certain vulnerability, though I’m developing a thicker skin, but hurtfulness is still hurtfulness, and I’ve always been sensitive.  I realize in the coming years, I WILL be needing that thick skin if I am to fulfill God’s desire that I someday put pen to paper on my conversations with Him, this seems to be a good place to begin.  I didn’t think it would be at first, but so far it has been. 
In any case, I’ve been trying to puzzle out why we come to be human.  It seems to me that there are reasons for EVERYTHING happening, so it stands to reason that we are here for a reason.  Obviously, there are lessons being learned all the time about good, bad, how to treat ourselves, how to treat others…lessons about God, or for some, the lack thereof (which you can’t actually convince me there is no God… I’ve had too many encounters with a strong LOVING being to NOT believe.)  Lessons about living, loving, the power of good vs evil… the list goes on and on.  I mean, there are even lessons on being better mothers and fathers, and improving ourselves so we can simply be better humans.  It’s my assertion that we can’t possibly LEARN everything there is to learn in ONE lifetime, and that’s why we do cycle back again and again.  I realize that’s NOT a Christian viewpoint, but someone needs to point out to me where it specifically states in the Bible that it’s NOT even a possibility.  Because the absence of it in the Bible doesn’t preclude it’s truthfulness.  It just means no one bothered to put it in there, or it simply wasn’t contemplated in that day and age. 
Other than the lessons, I don’t know of the point to being here.  But that IS enough of a point, isn’t it?
There must be a reason though, that we incarnate to a place where a being of Darkness has control.  Perhaps there are lessons in being tempted by Darkness?  I suppose there would be.  Though it would take a certain STRENGTH of spirit to resist, wouldn’t it?  Hm… very interesting.  It brings to MY mind thoughts of Hitler, which of course is one of the most recent attempts in our history to bring Darkness to all of Earth, slowly perhaps, but surely. 
Maybe we’re here to fight the darkness?  I think everyone can admit, that evil and dark things DO exist on earth, and it surely seems to be a battle between the two.  So maybe there’s an element of our being here as soldiers to fight the battle, or at least HELP to fight it.  I mean, MOST people are good, right?  There is always an element of people being corrupted, but for the most part, I think people DO try to do their best to be on the good side.  Again, some times this diary exists to help me puzzle out things.  I’ll definitely have to put some more thought into this, but let me state for the record:  It’s a theory people, JUST a theory.  Perhaps both light and dark spirits come to fight this battle. 
Argh… makes me wonder if the Bush-man falls on the side of Light, or the side of Dark (parading as Light)???
I fear he’s already put things in place that will reverberate for years, perhaps DECADES to come, and he did it SO stealthily, that we’ll never truly KNOW all the consequences til they’ve hit.  I fear very much for our future.  On the other hand… I can take a certain measure of comfort in my own feelings that even in death, I will go on, and if this planet falls completely to the Dark… I’ll sure as heck miss it, but I’ll move on.  However, I don’t think that means that we can just passively let the Darkness win. 
What a can of worms I just opened for myself.  I sure HOPE my theory is SO off the mark and utterly baseless, but it does worry me that it’s not.  What worries me more is that we’re SO caught up in our own passiveness, so caught up in our own beliefs and closed off to new beliefs, that we simply HELP the dark take over by default.  Sort of like conceding a battle you didn’t know you’d been called to. 
Reminds me a BIT of Star Wars actually.  Darth Vader was more taken over by Darkness than he chose to go over to the Dark side.  And the Emperor simply stole it all from within a political structure, no one in the galaxy EVER being the wiser until it was too late, and it was a terrible uphill battle to take it back to the Light.  But I don’t think we can count on ONE hero to win any sort of battle for us, and our Dark doesn’t SEEM to HAVE a limit of 2 beings…  not to my eyes anyway.  Well, it’s an interesting analogy, isn’t it? 

Well, I have to go help Shabree find her Karate uniform now, so will have to wrap up.  Probably as good a place as any anyway.