I love OD, but…

Well, I haven’t been able to log in for a few days, and that has made me somewhat crabby with it.  Hopefully I can even save this entry without getting booted out.  I’ve been feeling much more energetic, so yesterday I worked on some swaps, and went grocery shopping at Super Wal mart.  It’s a half hour drive away, but worth it.  It wasn’t a major shopping trip, just a trip to get some things that we like at a reasonable price.  It’s the only store I know that carries 93% fat free hamburger in the bulk meats section.  Whoohoo for that.  Kim thinks their meats are expensive, but I think you get a better selection and better quality.  I also like the fact that Wal mart doesn’t "feel" like a warehouse shopping experience, it feels like a high end grocery store.  I’ve always loved their supercenters, so it’s nice to have one nearby, but it’s still something of a drive.

I need to order Becca a jump house, but am hoping to just buy one from Costco… it’ll cost us 125-200 to rent one, 400 to buy one.  Then we have it for all the special occassions…. it makes sense to me.  I also need to order her cake today.  I’m going to pick up Kim… hoping to have McDonalds for breakfast, though last time, it made me incredibly sick, I think that was just because I’d eaten very little to nothing, and had a lot of acid build up.  That sandwich sure hurt coming back up though…not a pleasant memory, and you’re probably going, hey, TMI!

The pregnancy seems to be coming along well.  I have to say though, that damned psychyatrist sure did a mind fuck on me (sorry for the language)… because when I have sex now, NOTHING happens, but I always end up dreaming that it did/is happening… makes me feel horrible.  Rationally, of course, I *KNOW* that nothing is going to happen.  Everything with Shabree was fine, and my sex drive was revved my last month (I have NO idea why either), and it didn’t cause me to go into labor… and if there was EVER a time it could/should, I would think THAT would be it.   And the dr said it would be fine.  But my subconsious bought it… lock stock and barrel.  So I dream that I’m bleeding… or losing it somehow, or I simply don’t KNOW what’s going on, but it’s bad and it’s scary.  So I’m REALLY unhappy with that psychyatrist… I want to think, I should have known better, but this is nowhere CLOSE to being my fault.  So I have to convince my subconscious that everything is fine.  I had this feeling the other day that the baby had stopped growing, finally told myself that I was being silly.  The baby is fine. 

Okay, enough of that.  Becca’s birthday is today.  She’s 11.  And she’s driving me nuts, because she no longer asks for anything, she just tells you what you need to do for her, or what she needs.  When we were at Walmart, she told me she "needed" to buy cupcakes for school today, to pass out, as if this was a total necessity to life.  It made me kind of mad, actually.  I still bought them for her, but she did it again this morning, telling Jerry he *needed* to take her to school.  She didn’t ask, she just told him.  I told her she needs to stop that, and start asking.  Jerry agreed with me.  But Bec is a good kid for the most part, and I’m proud of her.  I have this love/hate relationship with watching them grow up.  It’s so neat to see where they’re heading, watch their progress, but then, it’s not fun to see them growiing away from me/us.  I think part of the reason I wanted this last baby is that by the time this one is a teenager, hopefully Bec or Syd will be bringing me grandchildren ;).  So I’ll always have a kid in the house somehow.  I’ve always loved kids so much.  It seems like it took forever before I had any, but then, I think in retrospect, I am glad.  There wasn’t much that I missed out on… I don’t feel.

Shabree wanted to watch tv upstairs, so we’re watching The Neverending Story…. this is one of my favorite movies from when I was a kid.  Shabree does pretty good watching an entire movie these days.  She quotes them, wants to act them out, play the movie out. 

Well, I guess I will post this, I need to see about gettng Shabree and I ready to go.  She’s not going to want to leave her movie… oh well, she’s easily bribable with McDonalds :).