Can’t sleep

I’m having a baby shower! Please visit:

http://www.webbabyshower.com/mullen/

It’s 6 a.m.  I know I was up last night at 12:30, and I woke up a few times last night, and then this morning at 5, and haven’t been able to go back to sleep since.  My jaw aches a bit, but I don’t even FEEL tired at this point.  However, I think I’m just getting to that point in the pregnancy when sleep just doesn’t come easily.  I WANT to make a phone call about our insurance, but two of my girls are downstairs, and this guy (the flake) deliberately leaves his voice mail box full, so if I can’t get a hold of him, he’ll call back and I risk waking the girls  up that way if he doesn’t answer.  But I have a doctor’s appt at 10, so I kind of NEED to know what’s going on with the insurance and NOW.  He’s in New York, so it’s not so early there.  I was supposed to call him back yesterday, but got caught up with other things. 
Well, I tried, and he didn’t answer, and the mailbox is full.  Grrrr.  Well, yesterday he called back almost immediately, so I’ll give it a little time while I type this out.  I’m hoping to get a couple more hours sleep… should probably eat something, that usually helps when I can’t sleep. 

I’m getting a little snappy.  Well, that’s got to be the sleep deprivation.  I haven’t been getting any sleep in the afternoons, and I need to at least TRY to do that.  I’m usually up after no more than 6 hours sleep.  Last night,  drank a LOT of water before bed.  It’s hard, because I’ve been dehydrated, and I need to choose between being hydrated and being able to get more solid sleep.  I usually pick sleep, but my ankles have been swollen and I can about guarantee that’s because of dehydration, the body actually tends to hold onto water when you don’t give it enough, but give it plenty, and water retention doesn’t happen.  It helps to get the feet up too of course.

Well, I’ve got to decide once AGAIN if I’m going to pursue the medi-cal.  It’s due in today.  I’m not really sure what to do because I don’t know the ACTUAL status of our insurance, of this deal… it didn’t fund on Tuesday.  Because of the holiday(s), they said today or tomorrow now.  They’re very excited about it though, want to bring Jerry down there for a face to face meeting to discuss the future.  He tells them this needs to happen pretty soon, because his wife’s going to go into labor any day now.  Which I am kind of praying that this baby holds off until June.  If he can get some actual funding then I might just be able to put some insurance in place myself using one of the businesses to do it.  But I don’t know if I can do it right away… might not kick in til June.  It gets a little crazy.  My thought is to clear our balance with Kaiser and get in there, but I don’t know if that can happen right away, or if we have to wait til June. 
I have a feeling it’ll all work out somehow though… I don’t really tend to WORRY about it so much as I tend to WONDER how it’s all going to go down.  Well, the way I kind of figure it is… the baby is coming either way, so not much choice there.  Why worry?  We’ll figure it out.  So I thought, well, maybe I should go ahead and put in the medi-cal, and then see what happens.  The main problem I still have is in Jerry not wanting to provide information they want to have.  So it slows things down.  Also, he doesn’t want to go down there.  Well, my thought is, turn in the paperwork to keep it open, let them start in on it (should have perhaps done this a week ago, but I suspect it’s just a dead end avenue, and a week ago, I could barely spare the gas)  We can always go a retroactive way with paying for it… if it should boil down to that. 
Of course, I’m STILL stuck with this dang doctor whom I have to see at 10 today.  How do I get around this whole C-section thing?  

Switching subjects a little… we’ve been discussing names, and the main problem has been that I haven’t been in love with the name *I* thought of… which was Jacqueline Diane… his mom’s name, my mom’s name.  I just can’t SEE my daughter being named Jackie.  It’s not really working for me.  Becca’s not loving it either, and the other girls don’t seem to really care one way or another.  But we wanted a "family" name, and it’s kind of hard.  Also, we have some naming conventions… Shabree Anne, Rebecca Briann, (they both have a bree-ann thing going, and this fits with Jerry’s deceased brother, Brian), Samantha Jean has my middle name, so we’re both SJMs,  So at some point while resting yesterday, it occurred to me that I STILL want to name this baby Stephanie, after my dad.  At some point in my life, my mom told me they’d almost named me Stephanie, and I fell in love with the name.  In fact, I thought, if I ever became a writer and wanted to use a pseudonym, that I would go by Stephanie Wolf… because I’ve always adored wolves (anything in the canine family that halfway resembles a dog, lol… I have ALWAYS had an affinity for dogs, at some points, an eerie connection with them.  Even my Chinese Astrology symbol is the dog, go FIGURE)   I always thought Stephanie Wolf had SUCH a ring to it.  I even had a fleeting thought to name this baby that, but quickly rejected it as a terrible idea, she’d get teased so badly, I would think.  So I ran this idea of naming her Stephanie across Jerry, Shabree and Syd last night in the van (Sammi, too, but she didn’t have much to add, lol), and Jerry wanted to know what middle name?  Well, of course, that’s where I was stuck, and I admitted so.  Well, we ran through some names, and Shabree very quickly got stuck on naming her Stephanie Anne, lol.  I mean, she repeated it at least 10 times… she is in LOVE with the idea of giving the baby HER middle name.  But… it definitely has a ring to it, I like it a lot.  I’ve been running Stephanie Diane, but this keeps it all on MY side of the family, Stephanie Jacqueline… but then, that’s a mouthful… Stephanie Briann (or Brianne with an E)… but that name is starting to get to "been there, done that" plus I HATE the initials that would leave her with, SBM… though Jerry pointed out that Becca is RBM.    Stephanie Jacqueline does have the advantage of being another SJM, and would keep us with THAT naming convention (Sammi and I are both SJMs), but then, Stephanie Anne would give us SAM, which works too… since SHABREE is an SAM for initials.  LOL… hey, you don’t want your kid getting stuck with either a name OR initials someone can tease them about.  Syd is kind of our only one who doesn’t really fall within ANY of our naming conventions, but that’s because her mom named her.  So I’m going to run these across the family today, and see if we can come up with something solid.  I will be SO happy if this girl gets named Stephanie.  Jerry hated it because his ex-wife’s new husband is named Stephen… but she won’t be a Stevie, and we’re NOT naming her after HIM, we’re naming her after my DAD.  Ifigure we’ll call her Steffie.  Jerry hated the idea of calling her Stevie anyway.  Works for me.  I’m actually leaning towards Stephanie Jacqueline, because it’ll make Jerry’s mom very happy.

Well, I got a call after that last sentence, so went back to bed, and here it is, 8:30.  I couldn’t go back to sleep though.  I’m going to spend today exhausted… I’m ALREADY exhausted.  I can feel a partial depression settling in too.  Already Becca’s in a bad mood, because she’s on the couch trying to sleep, and the other girls are bugging her.  I told her to go to her room.  I doubt she will though.  I also told Sydni to put away the shoes I bought Sammi last night, because I don’t want her losing them… they’re a size too big, they were 3 dollars, so I got the next size up, and they need to be stored until such time that they’re needed. 

Well, I am just NOT getting this posted.  Here it is 4:20 in the afternoon.  I had my doctor’s appt at 10, came back, grabbed the Medi-CAL paperwork , Shabree and Syd, went to Burger King for drive-thru, dropped the paperwork off, then went to Goodwill and bought Shabree 4 pairs of jeans and a lovely dress two sizes too big for her (lol).
Now, the doctor’s appt went fine, but of course, I "failed" my one-hour glucose test, so have to do the 3 hour one tomorrow.  It happens that I have an appt with the nutritionist at 10, so I’m going to go in at 7, do the 3 hour test, then go to my appt at 10, though I may be a little late.  We finally got a hold of the guy that’s supposed to be getting the insurance, but he doesn’t know what’s going on, his cousin is trying to get it pushed through or something, so that’s why I went ahead with the Medi-CAL paperwork. 
Anyway, the doctor had me do a consent form for a VBAC!!!!!!!!  YEA!!!  I have NO idea why.  I suspect he may be trying to cover all his bases, but I DON’T get it.  He says though if I fail the 3 hour glucose test, no VBAC.  I just said yes sir.  I "get" that it makes it a high risk pregnancy.  So we’ll see.  Me failing the 1 hour test is par for the course.  But with the last 2, I passed the 3 hour test.  Actually, there’s a story with Shabree that had me losing 6 pounds in one week because they put me on an 1800 calorie diet after the 2nd hour’s results didn’t go down far enough or something.  The ironic part of THAT was that even with losing 6 pounds in a week off MY body, Shabree weighed in at 8 pounds, 9.9 ounces and was quite healthy.  I gained MORE with Sammi, and she was only 8.2 ounces… though when I say more, I gained 9 pounds with Shabree, and 13 pounds with Sammi, so both were very controlled weight gains.  I have done even better with this pregnancy, and so far, have gained maybe 2-3 pounds.   For a woman of my weight, the less added to the frame, the better.  It’ll make delivery easier.  I know Sammi’s birth went fast, I have NO idea if not gaining lots of weight helped, but my dad said it did.
So anyway, this thing could go either way, and he said I needed to do that 3 hour test like YESTERDAY.  If their office had communicated with me better, I COULD have done it this morning before my appt with him, but they didn’t, so I’ll do it tomorrow.

I’m going to post, the baby is crying really hard, Becca’s SUPPOSED to be taking care of her, and she’s not, so I don’t know what’s up.  As usual, Becca has abandoned her responsibilities.  I’m REALLY tired of that b.s.