Been having contractions

I THOUGHT I was, but at my dr’s appt this morning, she said I was contracting.  I’m at 36 weeks, so I guess we’re down to the final stretch.  They’re not painful contractions, just tightenings.  Yesterday we went to Wal mart, and I bought diapers, baby bath, desitin, cornstarch, bottles w/ a bottle brush.  I already have her car seat, a stroller and a swing purchased, so I am feeling ready to go, though the cradle still needs to be re-painted, Bec got it stained up while it’s been in her room.  I thought maybe we could paint it a different color for Bec (I guess it really belongs to her, Jerry said so last week… I thought it was the Mullen family cradle, turns out I was wrong, but Bec says Sammi can sleep in it anyway), and she wanted it a Tinkerbell lavender, however, that would mean repainting the whole thing, and I think Jerry only wants to paint over the stained parts, so he’s going to paint it white.  You watch, it won’t happen til I’m in the hospital, having her that it’ll happen.  These days, nothing happens until the last minute with Jerry, just because he’s so busy with work and stuff.  I WON’T be surprised if he doesn’t make it to her birth.  I won’t.  Work seems to come before most things these days.  Mom is trying to get a leave of absense from work, and she thinks she’ll get it, but doesn’t know for sure.  She’s not sure if she’ll tell them to shove it if they won’t give her the leave, or what.  She tells me there’s nothing for her in Colorado anymore, but mom was never really that big on change, so we’ll see.  She has been telling me that if we’re going to move to Mexcio, she doesn’t want to come here, only to be abandoned.  Well, with buying a new house, that’s unlikely, and at this point, so is Mexico… but I know we’re still kind of holding out hope that we can somehow make it work… we really want our "home home"  I just don’t want to LIVE there, I want to stay in the area, or go to Colorado, but I actually prefer it here… no appreciation for the cold and the snow anymore, and the high cost of living where the wages haven’t really kept up… that’s Colorado. 
I talked to my sister in law, Aurora, yesterday, and ironically enough, she has an uncle in Guayabitos.  She’s willing to entertain helping us if the need should arise, however, would have to check with Chaunce, and he can be… well, unhelpful is the nice way of putting it :).  It wouldn’t matter that I’m his sister.  Well, I don’t think we will need her, but I wanted to feel her out in any case, just in case the need arises.  She pointed out that she has no credit history in Mexico, nor a work history, which is all true and valid… the only thing she has to really offer is she’s a Mexican citizen. 

I was up til at least 3 last night… I went to bed at 1, and then just laid there thinking about how to respond to some people on a bbs that we vacation with every year.  This last year it was really cliquish, and Jerry mentioned something about it, and just got trashed.  So he’s thinking we won’t go this next year, and truth be told, I am a bit relieved.  Except for certain people who are wonderful, the rest of the group makes me feel like the fat chick on the outside looking in :(.  I hate that feeling, and it makes me angry with myself for allowing it to happen… it just sort of trashes my self esteem a little bit, and I don’t need that.  Even the pregnancy didn’t make a difference, and I thought it would, and I feel stupid for thinking that way.  So I guess I feel relieved we’re not going, but I’m debating whether or not to post this to the board or not.  Probably not a wise idea, however, it is something I’d like to get off my chest, and I won’t ever post again, so I won’t have to see the petty responses to my post.  I never do post as it is.  I guess I’m just afraid to get hurt in the first place.  So anyway, I had to get up at 7:45 at the latest this morning, to make it to my 8:45 dr’s appt, managed to do that, and managed to take Shabree to McDonald’s afterwards for breakfast, and managed to make it to the toy store to buy Syd some birthday presents.  Now I just need to get party favors for her (this is what she wants instead of the balloon guy…go figure), I got the jump house, a slip n slide, I got the invites over to Kim last night, need to go pick them up tonight, send them with Syd tomorrow so she can hand them out.  I’m feeling pretty much ready to go for Syd’s birthday party.  After buying her presents, I realized JUST how tired I was, so came home.  Shabree really wanted to watch tv, but it’s set for the DVD player, and I didn’t feel like messing with it, so I told her no, and she complained about it t a bit, but actually, entertained herself really well for the 2, 2 and a half hours that I was crashed out on the couch for.  She’d come in and out from outside, which I think would upset Jerry if he knew I was letting her go outside by herself with no supervision, but she’s really good about sticking close to the house, and she really needs the exercise.  She finally woke me up and asked me if she could sleep with me, so we went upstairs, but then she just wanted to work on writing her ABCs, and I finally started feeling hungry, so we went back downstairs and had lunch.  I should probably go to Kim’s now to get those invites.  I’m feeling a lot more energetic, I should be working on some swaps, because I REALLY need to send everything out tomorrow, so maybe I’ll do that tonight when I can’t sleep instead of laying there tossing and turning.  Ooh, I’d better take my zoloft.  I didn’t take it til 8 last night, which is pretty late, and I’ve been trying to avoid doing that because of the nausea, but it ended up not really mattering because I didn’t go to bed until 1 anyway.  I did get my scraprack a little more organized, ha ha, ONE spinder, but better than nothing, definitely.  It’s slow going when I spend all my daylight housrs either sleeping or on the computer 🙁  BAD SARAH!!!!

Well, guess I’ll post and get to it.