Another round…

Two of my faves are pregnant.  I was telling the one that it is a GOOD thing I already have Alex, or I’d be so jealous.  I’d better get thinking like that OUT of my head, lol, or she won’t actually be the last baby.  And I really, REALLY can’t take another pregnancy.  I just can’t.  No way, no how (I’m thinking "thou doth protest too much" but I mean it.)  Still… I gotta convince my blasted HORMONES of this, especially when I finally start cycling again…hasn’t happened yet, thank God.  As long as I keep breast feeding, it probably won’t.  I really hate my hormones, because they mess with me so badly.  And obviously, I’m fertile, no problem there.  So once I start cycling again, I’m really going to have to fight the urge every month to have another baby.  I love Alex so much, and I already find myself thinking "What if?" because I always wanted half a dozen, I told that to Gregg (ex husband) when we first met!  So 6 isn’t like "out of the question" however, I MUST convince myself that I am DONE w/ pregnancy.  Especially as old as I am, and as hard on me the last one was… the first three to four months alone… UGH.

But I am very happy for these two.  One is going to be a first time mom, the other is like me, and loves kids, so this will be her 5th, and they might try for a 6th, and then I WILL be jealous… though she’s a lot younger than me, so it might be a bit easier on her (I am not sure about that, so we’ll see, time will tell.)  She started early :).

Which brings up another thought for me… it’s funny, how I am "poor" but I most certainly do not FEEL "poor."  I really do think that money is not all there is to being "poor."  A lot of it is just attitude.  If you’re happy with what you have, then you are most certainly NOT "poor."  If you’re doing what you want, and loving what you do, then you’re not "poor."  This one fave embodies that for me as well.  She is NOT poor, despite living in a trailer with no central air or heat, and having gotten an early start on having children and getting married (in that order…)  She’s intelligent, has published a book, is great with her kids, has about as solid a relationship as anyone could have, from what I can tell…well, they’re having another baby, and it’s NOT to "save the marriage" so there you go.  😉  I know she’ll recognize herself if she reads this, and as much as I am an inspiration to others, as they have told me, she is something of an inspiration to me as well.  But I think she’s crazy if she has 6 ;)!  LOL… just teasing.  Personally, I DO want more kids, but I also want to make sure that the kids I HAVE get enough attention and love that they grow up okay, and since I already worry about Syd, I have to take that into the equation.

Wow, what a rambliing kind of entry. 
 

I took the kids to BK yesterday for a couple of hours, worked on a layout that is AGES old.  I hadn’t known what to do with it, but with Sydni’s help, I got some flashes of inspiration, and so it’s about halfway done.  I was going to work on another layout, also ages old, and definitely one I’ve been struggling with.  Well, once I started working on it, I decided I wanted to use Bling paper on it, and I couldn’t find it, so I then had to go through and organize my paper, which I did by color!  Wow… now that’s fairly unusual for me to get that… um, anal about things.  And I’m NOT an anal type person.  However, I do like it sorted by color, just like I used to organize my tapes by artist alpabetically… I felt GOOD when it was organized like that (though not when I had to put in a new artist, because then I had to take ALL my tapes out of the cases to put the one artist in the correct spot.  It was a pain.)  Unfortunately… well, I have a lot of paper I will NEVER use.  It’s just UGLY to me.  So I suppose I should give it away.  It’s all Bazzill, which is expensive stuff.  I originally bought it to use on swaps, and I just never used it all.  It’s cardstock… I mean, I suppose since it was originally for Disney swaps, that I might be able to find SOME use for it when I go to scrap all my Disney pictures, but honestly… I can’t see it.  So we’ll see.  I don’t actually have like a ton that I just can’t stand… and I’ve only got 3 boxes total… 3 and a half actually, of Bazzill.  Now… I did get stupid and bought some 50 packs of paper, so that I’m going to have to fnd a use for.  I have in the past… one 50 pack got used up on one swap I was in that called for 26 kits.  But since I don’t swap any more, it’s going to be hard to find a use for these two shades of blue, one is called Teal, and the color is pretty much teal, and the other is Evening Surf, and it’s a just a shade different than the Teal.  Well, I have girls, so I don’t have a lot of need for blue just now.  So that IS kind of a problem.  I just… well, Bazzill is expensive.  I’d rather trade it than give it away.  I COULD sell it, but I’d probably take a loss on it.  Plus, I just won’t.  Then there is the question of what to do with my flat cardstock…I quit buying it a long time ago, but I still have a ton of it.  Now, actually, that I can use on my Make a Wish layouts, so I guess I’ll continue to do that.  I will probably not buy flat cardstock ever again.  Unless I actually run out and want to do more MAW layouts.  That’ll be awhile, lol.  I will also not buy Bazzill packs ever again.  I will buy it by the sheet, probably as I need it.  I have so many colors of Bazzill that I bought in packs where I used one or two colors, and I have 15 sheets of the other colors, and NO idea what to do with them.  It’ll just be much more cost effective/efficient to buy by the sheet.  And I won’t swap again, until I have used up ALL my swaps and have the money to participate in them.  So, those are the things I realized as I have been cleaning/organizing.  I’m still missing my Karen Foster eyelet setter…which is an awesome eyelet setter, and I have an alphabet that goes along with it… I know where the alpha is, but I don’t know where the setter is.  Grrr on me for losing/misplacing this stuff!  Really… if I WAS organized, that wouldn’t happen.  I HATE being so disorganized.  And I have to re-do my scraprack once again.  Well, not completely re-do it, but I do need to put a BUNCH of stuff into it, and re-do the way it’s organized.  Which maybe I should get to.  Shabree got herself into trouble today, was yelling at me, very dis-respectful, and I grounded her…well, she asked what she could do, and I told her she could help me with my scrap room, so that’s what we’re going to do.  We’ll see if she can do it, because I doubt she can.

So… going to get to it now.