9/27/07

Well… gee, still no period. And… oh Lord, am I doing this to myself, or what? I’m beginning to feel just a bit nauseous in the morning. If I’m doing it to myself, then I really need to stop. I’m not going to make it if the nausea is going to start at 2 and a half weeks and end who knows when? I ate some cereal this morning, not a lot, just a little, and was still feeling a bit on the yucky side. Lucky me! The hormones must be rolling in… with Sammi, I really didn’t start feeling sick until week 5 or 6. I didn’t know what to think. With Shabree, and I assumed it was because it was a first pregnancy, the nausea actually started about the same time as now, at about 2 and a half weeks. Ugh. Funny thing is, I swore I would not get pregnant again after Shabree because I hated the morning sickness so much, and here I am… pregnant for the 3rd time.  4th, if you include the miscarriage. 
I was thinking last night, that Sammi will be closer in age to this baby (I’m going to go ahead and assume it’s just one baby until I find out for sure, since the odds are against twins, but I’ll still keep my fingers crossed, esp since my symptoms already seem so strong!)   than any of the other girls are to each other.  Which I’m hoping is a good thing.  Syd and Shabree have each other… for now.  Becca kind of plays with them, but she definitely can be aloof, especially to Sydni.  I always kind of wanted them just a little closer in age…well, not that I could have done that for Bec and Syd.  I did try for Shabree.  So I have to admit, I do like the timing.  ALTHOUGH, my brother and I were a year and nine months apart, and we could never manage to get along.  This will be a whole different dynamic though, because it’s not just one older sister, it’s 4 of them.  And if it SHOULD happen to be twins, then I can just imagine it being them and Sammi against the world, lol.   You have to love all the scenarios that go through your head for any given event, but pregnancy seems especially given to dreams, hopes, fears, and all the etc that goes along with it.  I have every confidence that even being a screaming mom, which I am trying to stop being, that I am a good mom.  Sammi smiles constantly.  Shabree is a pretty happy kid as well.  Sydni I’m not sure about… Kim raised her more than I did, and Kim was often unhappy, and Syd just seems angry a lot of the time.  I don’t know how to explain it, and her lack of sleep that she’s often suffering from doesn’t help.  Anyway, for the most part, Becca also seems happy, and Syd is generally a pleasure to be around.  It all is a challenge, I must say… and adding in another child will be interesting…chaotic I imagine, but any more than now?  I doubt that very much.  I will as always, depend on the older girls to help, I would expect. 

On other fronts, lol… still in Nebraska, plan to leave tomorrow and drive most of the night, to keep down on the number of stops we have to make, plus those are my dad’s hours.  He’s been working nights.  I don’t know how long he’ll stay with us, current plan is for 2 weeks, which I wish it could be longer, but we’ll see.  I should probably get off the computer and get my stuff together and put it in the truck so we can go tomorrow on time.  I can just see it now, we can’t leave til Saturday cause nothing is done, then it’s every two hours, "I have to go potty"  Argh!

Well, I guess that’s it for me… if I don’t check in tomorrow, it’s because I got too busy with trying to get back to California.