3/18/08

I’m having a baby shower! Please visit:

http://www.webbabyshower.com/mullen/

Well, my brother said he’d translate it after all.  He still wants me to be a customer, but I have my doubts about that, too. 

Sydni asked for stickers for her teacher, so I went through a BUNCH of my stickers and I would bet I gave 40-50 dollars worth of stickers to her, some were even full Disney sheets, though the majority were bits and pieces of Disney stickers.  They’ll be fine for papers an such.  I told Syd what her teacher can’t use, just send back with her, I’ll find something to do with them.  I was glad to get it out of my stash, though I still have plenty… I just "drew a line" and quit giving her any more after awhile.  Hey, I gotta have SOMETHING I can give to Shabree (and Sammi!) though I actually have PLENTY I can give to them.  I was telling Kim I wished the teacher needed scrapbooking paper, because I have a ton to get rid of.  It would do me a world of good to clean out my scraproom and give some of it away.  Or trade it or whatever…
Oh MAN, I just found a GREAT site, dollarscrapbooking.net.  And I’ve got 30 dollars worth of stuff, well, that includes shipping actually, plus I’ll get 3.00 off, because one thing is buy one, get three free.  Ugh.. should I buy, or not?  Sigh… I really should NOT buy ANYTHING scrapbooking related, even if it IS cheap, cheap, cheap, and stuff I want, want, want!  Beads, ribbon, and other stuff I thought I’d try just because it was cheap, lol.  I gotta admit, this is kind of killing me.  I gotta think long and hard about this one.  My order totals 21 dollars (18 after taking off the 3 freebies), so my order is going to be about 28 dollars, though they only charge actual shipping…

Okay, so changing tangents.  Sydni’s friend gave her a bunch of "tracts" from the Jehovah’s Witnesses.  I took Syd and Shabree to Karate today, and sat at Mountain Mike’s, helping Syd with her homework,, while she ate a free pizza, and when I wasn’t helping her, I read the tracts (which are like small pamphlets that talk about their religious views)  INTERESTING stuff.  Linda, my best friend, is J.W. so I kind of already have a feel for the religion.  I was really enjoying reading them though.  I thought much of what they said made good sense (as I usually do when I speak to Linda.  They have a group of people who read, contemplate the bible, and then pass out the information they feel is relevant.  I did not explain that well, but think of them as religious scholars, that’s kind of how I think of them.)  I’m being drawn, more and more, to the thought I should really just read the Bible for myself already.  There is so much I need to see for myself, and it’s been years since I read the Bible.  If I’m going to have solid facts, then I think I need to read and interpret for myself.   I wonder if Christ really did live? 
I think it’s significant, that I keep getting religious and spiritual information tossed my way by different people.  One woman wrote me unbidden, and then AGAIN she came across something that "struck" her and sent that along.  It’s been a little "spooky" almost, the events of the last week or two.  I have always "attracted" religious people to me, and I’ve had MANY, MANY conversations with  people about religion, spirituality, and etc… I not only attract religious people, but metaphysical ones as well.    Gregg was very MUCH into metaphysics.  I won’t go into some of the things we practiced, it was interesting though, nonetheless.  I tried to find an email address for him, but I haven’t been able to.  I DID find my own ICQ number though, lol, doing a google search on myself (my galtscrapper self, not my real name self.  LOL… only one hit for me on my real name, buried about 3 pages in, the last link… but it’s negative, so that’s not good, and it isn’t even TRUE, which is the worse part.  But it’s 3 pages in… so my brain goes, so what?  Who’s really going to find that?)  Anyway, right now, I seem to be attracting a bit more religion than metaphysics, and I do tend to wonder why that is… maybe I’m more comfortable with the religious people, I don’t know. 

Okay, my butt hurts, I’m exhausted, and it’s 12:30 in the morning.  I’m going to bed already.  Syd gave those tracts back to her friend.  I asked her to ask if I could keep a copy, and she forgot.  That’s okay, I should be able to get my hands on them again, through various means.  They really believe the end of the world is approaching… and I agree.  LOL… No, I really do.   An ending doesn’t mean things cease, for every ending, a beginning typically follows.  I had that thought years ago, and one of the tracts I read said essentially the same thing.  I give it 20 years, at MOST.  I’ve seen estimates for fit hitting the shan  scenarios as close as this year, to the year 2012… which is only 4 years away.  I started the whole gardening project because the voice said I’d better get on it already.  I’ve been thinking for YEARS that I need to learn to be self sustaining… just in case.  Just in case.  I keep putting it off, because things SEEM okay.  But I’m seeing indicators… well, suffice it to say, I am interested to see how right/wrong I will turn out to be.  When I was a child, I would have sudden thoughts while kneeling in church, that I wold be involved, directly involved, with Christ’s second coming.  Even then, I’m thinking… no way.  COOL if it were to happen that way, but in MY lifetime?  I mean, reason kind of wants to prevail here, right?  Except it never really just STOPPED there.   With Sammi, I felt "asked" by God to have her so she could be part of it, too.  I actually thought that would mean she’d be a boy.  Imagine my confusion when she turned out to be a girl.  So I don’t really KNOW what’s going to happen.  I just have random thoughts and flashes.  I think a LOT depends on humans, their decisions collectively.  I think that’s a big reason it’s sort of hard to get a hold of exactly what’s coming.  AND, if this zeitgest movie is correct that Christ never lived in the first place, then what does that mean, exactly for a supposed second coming?  It’s been proposed that it’s more of a Christ "consciousness"  and while I can entertain that idea… I ALWAYS had the feeling that Christ was coming in physical form.  So I can’t say that actually "meshes" for me.  The thing about Sammi though, was that I also was told she was one of many, really, across the globe that would bring a message, or perhaps a new "religion" of sorts.  I was not very clear on that, if you want to know the truth.  And, I can’t say I’m really sure what to do with her, to teach her.  I felt very much chosen for a reason, and that I would just sort of "know"  and it’s too early now, thankfully… some days I just wonder if I really will "know"  In the past, I have been almost scared of my own shadow, when it came to these "prophecies" that seemed to come to me.  I mean, I am NOT an extra-ordinary person, not that I’m aware of.  I am human, I struggle with all sorts of things.  And how do I know that some "being" (of darkness) isn’t ultimately messing with me?  Though, if you ask me, I think I’d KNOW that.  Actually, I view myself as difficult to "mess" with anyway, lol.  Ultimately, I don’t think I’m wrong.  I may not be able to pinpoint just when things will happen, or how… but I’m pretty sure they WILL.  Honestly though, I’d be okay with being wrong anyway.  I want the world to come to peace on its own…. and/but I don’t see that happening.  It’s something that is eluding me… I guess it’s the WHY.  Though, I did get a clue today in one of the tracts.  It stated, Satan is ruler of the Earth.  I had NEVER hear that one before, but actually, it kind of "jived" with an insight I had a few days ago… that Earth essentially amounts to hell… because what Hell REALLY is, is separation from God.  That was my insight.  And I thought, if Satan were a fallen angel, where did he fall to?  Earth was my thought.  I don’t know why I had that thought, it was during the ongoing email conversation with the one Christian woman who told me I MUST take Jesus Christ as my savior.  There is no Hell.  There is no fiery place where we burn forever.  However, I told her, I’ve FELT God’s love  What I did not really tell her was,  and part of the problem with feeling that, is that it can leave an ache, a longing for that feeling to last.  Still, where is the challenge, and the "excitement" of being human, spending eternity in Heaven?  I think eventually, even basking in God’s love MIGHT get a little boring, and a person would want to go do something to better themselves.  Sure, there’s plenty to learn from God, but there’s practical lessons to be learned too… ones that do require flesh and blood to execute.  Ones that require a heart to be broken… painful as that sounds, it does have its lessons to teach.  I just don’t think we can truly GROW until we take on the human aspect of our spirituality.  Otherwise, why bother?  Why ever be human?  We must get SOMETHING out of it, logically speaking.

All right, I’ve got to get to bed.