2/11/09

Sigh.  I’m not getting very much milk out right now.  I don’t know if it’s stress, dehydration, the heating pad… or what.  But production appears to be down.  Quite frustrating.  I went to sleep at 9, woke up at 12…good opportunity to pump.  And I will probably try to power pump a bit, but I FEEL like I ought to go back to bed and try to get a full night’s sleep.  Waking up to pump, of course.  I’m hungry, but it’s so late I’m trying to ignore it.  Maybe I could have a little bit of something, but what I don’t know.  I feel like I ought to just ignore it.  Nighttime is the only time I ever get to think about myself and ONLY myself, where I’m not worrying about feeding the baby… oh, Sammi got a hold of Becca’s razor and cut her lip on it.  She was oddly quiet about it and said ok when I told her gently not to do it again.  I think she already knew it wasn’t going to be a good idea.  But it didn’t seem like it HURT… only she did have a few tears.  I’m not totally sure how she got a hold of it.  Shabree was the last person to use Bec’s shower, I can only imagine she unknowingly knocked it to the floor of the shower, and Sammi found it there.  It’s just proof that you can never baby-proof a house too much, and that her older sisters aren’t going to think about these things.  I mean, there wasn’t a lot I could have done, because I simply didn’t know.  She HAS to be able to go into the bathroom, that’s where her potty is.  If *I* had dropped the razor, of COURSE I would have picked it up and put it out of Sammi’s reach.  The razor broke, so I threw it away.  I mean, it’s not like I can tell Becca that she can’t have a razor, she’s 13 and wants to shave her legs.  I can understand that.  Part of me thinks, she could leave it where it wouldn’t get knocked down, but c’mon… Besides, Sammi’s very inquisitive.  It’s so hard to protect them.  When Shabree was 3 or 4, she stuck a key in a light socket, and off to Kaiser we went.  At that age, she should have known better.  And she was fine.  No lasting effects.  But she never did it again, and doesn’t like being reminded of it at all.  We cover the exposed outlets now.  I think we did then, too, just that one was unexposed, and who knows WHY she did it?

Anyway, now, nighttime, is the only time I don’t have to worry about the kids, they’re all in bed.  That’s why I usually do my writing at night.  I do a lot of reading while I pump, because I only have one hand available.  That’s one reason I have such a hard time doing the power pumps.  I can’t REALLY write while I pump.  Today, I did some downloading of digi kits while I pumped. 

Oh, I called about early intervention for Sammi and Alex.  And I gave Alex a bunch of tummy time and time in both her swing, which I bought batteries for (they’d BETTER not disappear!) and in her table chair, which is not a high chair.  It attaches to a regular chair both underneath and in the back, and has a tray with a toy attachment.  I love this thing.  It was on my baby shower list, and when Rick asked me what I really wanted, I told him that was one of them.  I never had a chair for Sammi, and it was a source of frustration more than once.  I can only IMAGINE with Alex not sitting up very well, how bad a source of frustration it would be for me with her.  She’s getting better, though tummy time isn’t really coming up with any real leaps.  She still won’t roll over, still doesn’t really GO anywhere.  She just lays there playing with the play mat, or the things placed there for her amusement.  I mean, she does inch around, but she’s not even trying to get up on her knees or anything.  I tried standing her at the couch, and she just fell over.  I caught her of course.  I just don’t know.  I’ll have to keep trying.  The EI people did not call me back, so hopefully tomorrow.  I did get a call from a bill collector, and it was vaugely threatening which I did NOT appreciate whatsoever.  I RAN for that phone too, thinking it might be the EI people.  GAH.  I should have known better.  I’ll be more careful in the future.  They asked if I had a lawyer… HA.  Yea, not a fun call.

I hate waiting.  I feel like "now what?"  At least I was able to get her into the doctor fast…called Friday, seen Monday.  That was good.  Hopefully I don’t have to chase down the EI people.  I called about both girls.  Sammi definitely needs speech therapy.  She can definitely hear.  I feel like "Been there, done that" since I went through this with Shabree.  It’ll be good to get an earlier start with Sammi.  When she’s four, she can start going to the school to get therapy.  They’ll probably come to the house until then, if I’m lucky. 

Oh, I am thinking I should post… I don’t know if I should head back to bed or not, but I should probably pump again anyway.