04/21/2010

I’ve been having a lot of dizzy spells lately, and bad forgetfulness.  Our doctor dropped us because I forgot to take Syd to her appointment for the third time (so she dropped the whole family!  Just like that…) So I called the new doctor today, for the first time.  They took my name, asked which insurance I had, told me they’d call me back in 15 minutes, and guess what?  They didn’t call me back at all.  I hate doctors.  I hate em.  I’m getting to where I’d rather just die than deal with the damn doctors.  I know it’s related to blood sugar.  I had Jerry measure mine last night when I was having a dizzy spell, and the reading came back at 78.  That is WAY low.  I’m just not going to remember to call the doctor’s office back, so the fact that I tried once and they blew me off….  

Alex turns two… TWO! next month.  Where did those two years GO?  She’s SOOOOOO smart.  The eye still wiggles, but doesn’t seem to be anything but a muscle issue.  She’s usually pretty good natured, and so sweet.  Last week Shabree got herself in trouble and was sent to her bed (they hadn’t been getting much sleep…. might have been a couple weeks ago during Spring Break), so she was crying.  Well, Alex crawled into bed with her!  She was trying to make Shabree feel better.  Shabree told her she didn’t want her, she wanted Sammi, and I told Shabree that she was being mean, and look how Alex was trying to make her feel better.  Shabree, having been in the spot of being the rejected one, quickly reversed herself, but I’d already grabbed Alex and taken her away so she wouldn’t get her feelings hurt by an uncaring sister.  Alex has a real sense of wanting to be a comforting presence.  Once, I spent a couple of hours crying in my bedroom, and Alex came knocking on the door.  I couldn’t ignore her, so I let her in.  She nursed for awhile (yea, trying to figure out how to cut her off, little addict), but then she just laid there in my arms demanding nothing, just seemed to want to make me feel better.  She’s got a great spirit.

Sammi is getting rebellious.  Not terribly so, but when I send her to bed, she tells me I’m not tired, and sometimes when I put her in the corner, she tells me no.  And I tell her she can either spend 3 minutes in the corner, or 20 in her room.  She picks the corner.  But for the most part, I don’t have to discipline her at all.  So no real complaints, she’s a good kid.

We’ve decided to continue the madness next year, and homeschool again.  With them cutting teachers, my kids can ill afford to have 30 students in their class, Syd especially.  And it’s getting to where we’ve got a workable system, though it’s never like we’re doing this at this time.  It’s still a lot of on the fly.  But it’s working.  Well, Syd is behind, but I know she’d be behind whatever she was doing, and honestly, she’s LEARNING, so that’s what matters.  

I don’t know what else to say.  Not much has really CHANGED around here.  I’m really sad to say that, but Jerry hasn’t closed a deal, and I can’t say when things will change, and in that, I feel like we’re just in a waiting game.  We’ve been seeing a therapist, all of us, yesterday she saw the two of us, and asked us to work on speaking each other’s "love language" sigh.  It isn’t like I set out to ignore my husband, it just happens, and it doesn’t help that he never tells me what’s going on so I know if I should be getting off the computer.  He could be up in his office doing anything, and I wouldn’t know what it is, because I don’t exactly feel like sitting there while he takes calls and ignores me, so I leave and go play Farmville.  I found this great snag bar, which is allowing me not to watch the feed like a hawk.  BUT today some guy told me that I was a cheater for using it, and he was going to de-friend me, not that I cared.  Oh gees.  It is JUST a game people!  Just a game.  

 I’ve got to wrap up.  My computer has restarted twice in the last 15 mintues, and I’m exhausted.  WAY exhausted.