03/07/2013

I’m sitting at McDonald’s, Alex is playing.  I’m on Farmville, which I hardly ever get to play these days.  We haven’t had internet at the house since Dec.  It’s been a little difficult, but we’re running an ad on living social right now, so we’re pretty well booked up, however, hardly anyone is doing anything extra, so too often, we’re working for free on these deals, or minimum wage.  Still, without it, we wouldn’t have gotten the rent paid last month.  Jerry told me this morning we’re paying too much for rent.  My mom offered to buy us a house and we pay the mortgage on it.  I guess that would give her the tax benefits.  We’d have to set it up in a family trust so when she died, the house would go to us automatically.  I probably need to call her, but it’s loud here, and hard to hear. 

Things with the baby are fine at the moment.  The first trimester was hellish.  I may still run into some problems, I’ll know more this next Monday, when I get the ultrasound.  One of the times I went to the ER, they did an ultrasound, and they felt the placenta was very close to the vaginal opening, but when I mentioned it to my midwife, she just said not to worry, they usually move, and it’s not a problem.  So crossing my fingers that is the case.  I had been throwing up bile, and was seriously unable to eat much of anything, I lost 10 pounds, and have only gained a pound or two back, which at my weight, should be fine.  I’m certainly eating when I’m hungry, and I eat a lot of veggies to "fill the gaps" in my hunger, and I’m doing what I can not to eat a lot of junk food, though I crave chocolate like crazy.  But I do quite a bit of walking too…  Since we lost our internet, and our family van doesn’t run (alternator… Dec as well.  Not a good month, Dec.)  we walk down to the clubhouse to use the internet.  They get their fix of Disney channel and Nick, which we don’t get at the house anymore either.  The cable/internet/phone was 120 a month, and we just didn’t have it.  Since I get internet on my phone, I’ve barely missed it.  I can still do my research on things, get on Facebook, get the news, and I can’t really say I’ve missed Farmville all that much, because I haven’t missed it.  I do play when I get a chance, but I don’t pine for it at all.  I guess I’m just not addicted to it anymore.  I have played some this morning, but decided I’d rather write in my diary, which I actually have been meaning to do, but it’s not so easy from my phone, so I haven’t done it from there.  

It just got really cold in here… like freezing cold.  Wonder why?  It feels like they turned on the A/C when it’s only 60 something degrees outside.

We’ve named the baby Jayson…no, I don’t actually KNOW it’s a boy at this point, but pretty hopeful, and it seemed like a good idea to just give him a boy’s name… it’s kind of a play on words, since Jerry goes by Jay as well, I want to give him the middle name Richard after my grandpa, but I haven’t gotten an ok from Jerry, though I simply have started to think of this kid as Jayson Richard.  And it’s an interesting thing, because YEARS ago, I mean during my first marriage, we channeled, and I was told I’d have a son named Jason, and I just wasn’t that fond of the name, though I liked other J names better, so I was kind of going away from naming this kid Jason… then it just sort of came to me that he could be Jay’s son… Jayson.  So I really do think this is the son I was told about all those years ago (could be 20 years, I’m not even sure now… between 15 and 20 years ago.  You have NO idea how many things we channeled during those days that have come to pass!  Though California has yet to fall into the ocean, lol… but other parts of the country are, scarily enough!)  Anyway, the name is sticking.  Jason means healer.  The only reason I know this is because of the ex and those channeling sessions.  

McDonald’s has gotten crazy busy.  It looks like.   the teenagers got out of school early.  Ugh.  We came for breakfast, and two and a half hours later, are still here.  I’m not quite ready to go though.  Well, I could be, but I’m enjoying sitting here and just having the chance to write.

So with my mom’s offer to buy a house and rent it to us… she’s said things like this in the past, only to back out and change her mind.  It’s hard for me to want to be dependent on her in any way, because she has always held things over my head when I’ve been dependent on her in any way.  It’s easier to just live my own life away from her help.  But we really do need to find a cheaper situation for both home and the parties.  I’m still trying to define what I want to the Universe, other than enough rooms for everyone and a pool, lol.  One thing I DO love about where we live now is the pool.  But we’re paying 200 a month more in rent than we would in other areas of this city, which isn’t really worth having a pool for.  I’d like a country property where we could move the animals, get more chickens (9 of our 10 chickens have either died or disappeared…which means they’re dead too… though Shabree thought she saw one of them at the neighbor’s property… it’s probably safer there.)  I want my farm fresh eggs, darn it!  We need a good coop though, but the one chicken is surviving by rooming with the pigs.  I’m sure the pigs are keeping her perfectly safe, though they don’t like it when the chicken(s) help themselves to "their" food, lol.  Chickens will eat almost anything!  I never knew that before.  I’m sure our rabbits would be much better off if we had a house to bring them into at night.  It was a hairy winter, we lost 4 goats to colds, 2 rabbits to various causes (one got trampled, I think the other got starved to death by his roommate, who was fighting him for the food… but he died at home, so I’m not sure.)  We lost a pretty big investment in the goats, and now we only have the one female left.  We still have our two miniature horses, not sure what we’re going to do with them though.  I’d like to get a cow, though a regular size cow would be too much milk, however, miniature cows are EXPENSIVE.  They cost about double a full size cow… I’d rather see the milk go to waste, honestly.  I’m sure I could learn to make cheese, yogurt, butter’s EASY, sour cream could be fun.  I’m just still not sure I could use THAT much milk!   Maybe if I could sell some of it, though that assumes I’d have the werewithal to learn how to do it in the first place.  Though honestly, I guess I wouldn’t worry about wasting milk in trying to learn, since I’d have a steady supply.  Maybe… maybe I could take a class.  Oooh… I could learn then turn around and give my own classes.  Yes, good idea.  I’d like to keep the farm, if we could make it work with having more income from it than outgo.  It would be nice to be closer to it though.  So many things to think about.  I suspect Jerry would like to move to Davis.  He had a job there yesterday, and the woman was dressed in a t shirt and pantyho

se, and kept bending over to pick up the cat.  He was in heaven.  

I am having a love/hate relationship with sex these days.  Which is all I really want to say.  I feel like a whale.

I got a registry put up.  It’s only got about 22 things in it, though I put a want for 5 boxes of wipes, lol… When will I NOT have a use for wipes?  Yea, exactly.  It’ll be years.  I did it on Walmart.com, which made it super easy.  At least I have SOMETHING up.   This starting over from scratch sucks, I must say.  I gave pretty much EVERYTHING away from Alex’s birth, including the booster seat I have on walmart.  Sigh.  Oh well.  Oh, darn, there’s a pack and play on Craigslist, but it’s an hour’s drive away.  No way is that happening.  Sigh.  One more thing to add to the walmart list, and look for free in the meantime, or maybe get at the consignment store when I need it.  

Well, I’d better get out of here.  Guess I’ll wrap up.  I have a lot on my mind, and trying to put it to paper.