02/21/2010

It’s been a good long while since I’ve written, I know.  Still playing Farmville, probably more than ever.  Still homeschooling, though I have just about up and quit more times than I can count, and trust me, I would have been completely justified in doing so.  Syd is way behind, and every day falls just a bit more behind.  I’m saving up for pool memberships this summer, but no idea if Syd will even be able to go, as she may still be doing her school work!  

But the main reason I came to write today, is this guy on Facebook, added me as a friend, and within two days was asking me to sponser him to come here (he’s from Pakistan)  I was actually kind of considering it.  Jerry and I take in stray men and women on a semi-regular basis.  Main problem is… this guy is single, and keeps acting towards me like *I’m* single, which I am NOT.  And despite me repeatedly telling him, Married, married, married, he kept up with his…somewhat non gentlemanly-like manner.  I mean, it’s not like he was asking me for sex… however, he was sending me hugs, kisses, told me once that I was younger and he’d marry me.  Flattery.  Yuck.  I’ve not known today how to react to him, so I’ve been ignoring him, which is terribly unkind of me.  I even took him off as a friend.  I expect I’ve hurt him.   I feel rather sick to my stomach, and almost like I’ve done something wrong, but I haven’t.  I was upfront with him.  I told him repeatedly not to get attached, I’m married, told him to mind his manners (had Shabree on my lap at that point, and he was on camera… wasn’t going to have him doing something stupid that she could see.)  I talked to two of my girlfriends, and they both said to stay away.  

Craziness.  I should never even have considered it.  I just wanted to be helpful.  I haven’t said much about this to Jerry, because really, what would I say?  I did tell Jerry that i’d had a conversation with the guy.  That was before all this other stuff happened, when we were just talking about Christianity. 

I still feel fairly awful, but I could never get him to tell me what he wanted from me.  I’m just grateful that he didn’t go and do anything really gross, though I am not sure he would.  He seemed a LITTLE more gentlemanly than THAT.  It’s always the little things that get me though.  I don’t like it when I start seeing things going down a slippery slope of cutsie-ness… oh, it’s JUST a hug, oh just blowing you a kiss… that is just too intimate for me.  He even told me, when he signed off, that he would miss me!  You BARELY know me.  Yea, I was stupid.  I did try to be straight up with him though.  So… whatever.  I don’t need that in my house.  I don’t need that around my daughters.  I REALLY don’t need that!  

I probably should have at least told him… but then, the cowards way out seems appropriate at this point.  If he didn’t get a clue from all the times I told him I was married, don’t get attached, etc, he needs a big smack in the face.  Wake up stupid.  You can’t act like that towards me.  Ugh, I hate how I feel right now, like I’ve done something wrong.  I do not feel I am to blame, but I feel as though I’ve done something wrong.  Oh well.  LOL… I’ve confessed.  I am probably doing the right thing.  Hard to say.  My instincts tell me he’s an ok guy, but if I let him in my house, I’m asking for trouble with a capitol T.  At least Rick had the good sense that I was his business partner’s WIFE, and untouchable.  It took me forever to trust him though, because I couldn’t put my finger on what was WRONG with him.  When I finally figured out that he was simply immature, I relaxed, and he became Uncle Rick.  That was a proud day for him, lol.  I definitely have a mana bear’s attitude towards the girls.  I am mighty protective of them.  Poor Bec though, Rick was cute, he probably really messed with her treating her like a little kid.  She never did warm up to him much.  Easier to hate him than admit to what was likely a huge crush.  Poor girl.  I don’t know what I’d have done in her place.

I’d better post this.  The computer has started having a nasty habit of restarting while I’m in the middle of doing something.  It’s making me a little crazy.  I need new computers.  

 P.S.  Just checked notes… no, no new babies.  I decided against it for the time being.  Plate’s too full as it is, and I think lately things have been too frustrating to add in another baby to the mix.