This time, Im going to breathe a breath.

I realised something today.

I cut myself off a long time ago.

Sitting here, chatting to my Amrai and JJ, my dear darling MJ friends, and I realised I no longer care as deeply as I once did. Not about them, no, I love those girls to itty bitty pieces. About this whole case thing. The jury is deciding the verdict already and all around me the MJ fans I know and love are shaking and crumbling and being depressed and stuff and I just sit here. Maybe I’m in denial that something might happen to him. I completely, 100% believe it when I say that everything will work out ok for Michael. But I am emotionless about it all. Which is probably a good thing. I mean, when there was the whole raid on Neverland, that crushed me to a ball of scared for 2 days, and then there was the arrest and I was shaking mass of tears for a very long time after. And gah. I know I’m not gonna be like that if the guiilty verdict is announced.

I’m talking in f***ing circles and confusing myself. GAH!!!!

How incredibly beautiful is this? My JJ made it. Talented biatch. =D

photomanipulation (c) Janna C. 2005

Hmm… I’m wearing tomato sauce. I REALLY need to learn to eat without covering myself in food. Aah, I’m such a child.

Heheh… note from Mr Stink made me giggle. Best way to get someone to admit to doing something is to say they no longer do it. Or something that makes more sense to people that aren’t me.

Is it just me that can write a massive well thought out rant in the head, then as soon as I go to write it it just refuses to come out the way I had envisioned? So frustrating. I’m cold.

Heheh… my JJ is now in the same timezone as my Squidy.

How is it already June? I’ve seriously gotta get my ass into gear! Crazy time going sooo fast!!!!!

I say I work for the things that are important to me, but really I just avoid doing anything and ‘slack off’ like I do with everything else in my life. No wonder I don’t like to let myself be happy often, I don’t deserve to be really happy unless I really want to work for things AND then work for them! It’s not all just about the want.

Is it really all about the anguish?

Mmm… writing makes me feel that little bit better.

Ask me some questions, as many as you like, about anything, and you’ll get the answer. ASK BAMMIT!