Monkey Scrotum

Just a heads up, this entry is pure whinge. You don’t have to read it, I just needed to write it. I don’t know a better time to write this, considering I just aggrevated it.

For… weeks now, if I walk too much the muscle (or joint, or ligament, or nerve… something!) deep in my butt, deeper than the cheeks, ow. And by walk too far, I mean walk to the post office which I think is a 7 minute round trip.

On Saturday, Jake was asked to work (because the boy who normally works on Saturdays, Ryan, was "too tired from partying the night before" …so ridiculous) so I decided to use my new found energy and CLEAN! Only problem was when I would bend over, crouch, or sit on the floor. At 2pm, I was sitting on the floor putting random junk that was all over the desk/recliner/dining table into a grocery bag so I could deal with it later and bam, I couldn’t get up. I barely made it to the couch. I had to wait 90 minutes for Jake to get home so he could get me some pain relievers. And ever since, pretty much every 4 waking hours I have had to take more just so I could walk.

Thankfully it alternates sides. Since Saturday it has just been the right side, but the pain originally started on the left. Odd. But I am grateful for that.

So on Sunday we went and did fun errands. Like laundry. I was making Jake to absolutely anything that involved bending over, but then at one point I thought it would be a smart idea to kneel down to get stuff out of the bottom dryer. I had to check if it was all done, after all. Good thing I had the clothes trolley with the high sides to hold onto so I could actually get back to our folding table. I had no chance of moving otherwise.

At Costco, I felt fine, so I bent over to grab something from a shelf. The rest of the time there I was leaning on the cart so much that it was in charge of where we were going, not me. Jake said I was walking like a grandmother. I definitely felt it. Driving after that was pain, every time I had to move my foot from one pedal to the other…. yargh. But, Jake can’t drive, so I had to or we wouldn’t get home.

Last night, right before bed, I realised I had a splinter in the bottom of my foot. Jake doesn’t have good vision (he is mostly double-vision, although he can tilt his head in ways that make images one, it isn’t good for looking for tiny things like cat-hair splinters in heels) so I had to get it. The leg movement was the equivalent of sitting on the floor, so I could barely make it to bed, and had to get Jake to help undress me and then once I was in the bed, lift my legs so he could put the sheet on top of me.

I am seriously so lucky I have a Jake. He helps me when I do stupid things and then can’t move. He gets stuff for me when it is too low down and I can’t reach. He helps me do my stretches in the evening that seem to be helping but MAN do they hurt. He is just the best thing ever.

So this morning, I woke up great. No pain (until I sat up, but that was just mild, not debilitating), I was able to bend over and quickly pick things up, but if I remained in the bent position pain would set in.

So the fridge started leaking. And me, the super-idiot that I am, instead of just putting the fridge-towel on the ground and waiting for Jake to get home to drain the water out from under the crisper drawers… I decided to sit on the floor and deal with it myself.

Somehow I managed to stand up, get 2 acetominophen, and hobble my way here to the computer chair. I hope the stuff has kicked in, I want to do the dishes, and that will be kind of impossible if I can’t stand properly.

I think I’m good. Butt doesn’t seem to be cramped up in an odd position.

I wish I had something new and awesome and cute to share to end this entry happily, but I’m lacking right now. I did make videos of Lexi playing with a hairtie she found today, but that would involve uploading a video. She doesn’t normally play with toys, so it was extra amusing to watch.

P.S. I do have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday.