Get a goat and grow fish from its eyes…

Got up at 12, came to the puter to talk to Jake, ate Sultana Bran for breakfast, Jake went to bed, I cleaned my room (which only involved putting away a few pieces of clothes) and played around with my dvds.

Looked at all my Austin Powers movies (I bought the ‘shagadelic box’ with all 3) and was very pleased to see the first one wasn’t the version I watched with Jake. It had the orange sherbet scene, and  the henchmen’s family scenes too. woo.

Then I watched my Ross Noble dvd. Twas…. so freakin hilarious! What more would you expect? I mean really. It had the bit about the sailors posing, and the hare krishnas, like when we went to see him live last year. No baby bbq though. Wouldn’t expect there to be, being a London performance and all.

The dvd has the funniest warning. OIL RIGS! And more. So I copied it so you can all laugh as much as I did. (Oh ya, entree title was from the same place)

WARNING
That’s right friends, this is a warning. Not a bit of word in your ear to ask politely for your consideration but a proper warning like when you shout at a child who is about to put its foot in the mouth of a komodo dragon.

The copyright proprietor has licensed this DVD (that means Digital Versatile Disc not Dodgy Vole Disco – if you want to open a shady wood nightclub catering to tiny mammals no one is going to stop you except maybe an angry farmer – and that includes the song track as well, mind) for private home use only. If you’re watching it in your house you can tell your friends that it’s on. You have to watch in private not in secret. All rights reserved. Not your rights. It’s quite hard to watch a DVD when you’re chained to a radiator and denied food. The definition of home use excludes the use of this DVD at locations such as clubs, coaches, hospitals, hotels, oil rigs, and schools. If you have bought an oil rig and turned it into your house then you’re probably OK as long as it’s been relocated to a housing estate. If you live in an old coach then chances are you work on a fair.

Any unauthorised copying, editing, exhibiting, renting, exchanging, hiring, lending, public performance diffusion and/or broadcast of this DVD, or part thereof, is strictly prohibited and any such action establishes liability for a civil action and may give rise to criminal prosecution. Don’t even try to recreate the show using puppets or you will be hunted down with dogs and your puppets will be confiscated and paraded through the puppet village as an example of wrong doing. This DVD is not to be balanced on the face of a donkey, exported, distributed and or distributed and/or sold by way of trade outside the EU without proper license from Stunt Baby Productions Ltd.

If you get offered a copy from a roadside merchant in Egypt or India slap him and boo and hiss to show your disapproval.

Sales and/or rental rights for this DVD are specified on the original packaging of this DVD and not shown on the side of a dog or tattooed on a pig as you may expect.