I think he is chesting on me!

Well it has been a while since I last word in here, so I thought I should keep up with my diary.

Things aren’t much better with Josh. I really think he is cheating on me, but I’m not sure who with. I have a few girls in mind, but I don’t know how to go about finding out. It’s not like I can go up and ask them all, I don’t think they would tell me the truth anyway. Ok tell me what you think of this…

Katie – I have come home and seen her at my house, (I don’t come home at the same time all the time, just so you know) a few time. They are always in the living room talking, or watching T.V, but the only thing is. She is sitting right nest to him. You know how when you want to cuddle on the couch when you are watching something, well that is how I have seen her. Now it has gotten to when I come in the dorr, she jumps up and moves over. Acting like nothing was going on, and not thinking I saw her move.

Laurie – I haven’t seen her much, but I do see her and Josh together at a club we go to. They will either be dancing, or sitting at a table. Yea I know people do this kind of thing, but when ever I go over to them, they shut up. They stop talking about what they were talking about and just look at me. I tell them to keep talking, but she says no that’s ok, we weren’t really talking about anything. Plus, I could swear I saw them holding hands once or twice. Then move real fast then they see me coming. It’s like they are looking for me all the time or something.

Beth – I have seen her on top of him once, she was sitting on top of him. They had there cloths on, but she had her arms around him and they were talking. They didn’t know I was there, other wise I think she would have moves aways as fast as she could. I waited till she got up off him to let them know I was there. I wan’t to see what was going to happen. She didn’t do anything, not even kiss him, but I still thought that was weird. That was the only time I saw that, the other times I seen them together they are always laughing and she is always hitting him. Like the haha hit that girls do at times. It is a way for a girl to touch someoen they like or are with without having people see that is what she is trying to do.

I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to say to him anymore. Doesn’t matter waht I do or say he just sits there. I pretty much had to rape him to have sex one night, but he gave in and let me have my way. That is not what should happen, that isn’t how it should be. My god!

I don’t want to brake it off, but I am at the point where I think I need to, because he just seems like he doesn’t want me anymore, and he wants these other girls.

On a happier note, yes there is a happy part. 🙂 I am going to be leaving the state for a little while. I got that job…:) Yea for me! Now I can get always from all this and get my head back together. When I get back I will know what I want to do. Maybe even before I go, but right now I don’t know.

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