Reasons for Low Sex Drive

my girlfriend now is completely disinterested in sex, she used to be a girl who couldn’t get enough sex. She doesn’t respond to me. I do plenty of foreplay. I don’t know what else to do. Any ideas? [sex69]

This isn’t uncommon really; it could be a lot of reason why she is like this. Have you tried talking to her about it, and I I don’t mean when you are going at it either. 🙂 Here are some reasons why this could be happening.

Stress and fatigue
Estrangement from partner
Interpersonal relationship issues
Partner performance problems,
Lack of emotional satisfaction with the relationship
The birth of a child
Sociocultural influences
Job stress
Peer pressure
Media images of sexuality
Low testosterone – Testosterone levels peak in women’s mid-20s and then steadily decline until menopause, when they drop dramatically
Medical problems – Mental illnesses such as depression, or medical conditions, such as endometriosis, fibroids, and thyroid disorders, impact a woman’s sexual drive both mentally and physically.
Medications – Certain antidepressants (including the new generation of SSRIs), blood pressure lowering drugs, and oral contraceptives can lower sexual drive in many ways, such as decreasing available testosterone levels or affecting blood flow.
Age – Blood levels of androgens fall continuously in women as they age
Loss of erotic associations
Anxiety
Drug or Alcohol use or abuse
Pregnancy and the postpartum period
Surgical changes and gynecologic infections
Hormonal changes
Fear of intimacy
Previous sexual trauma
Religious beliefs
Proximity of family members

Symptom Relief  

 

Here’s what sex therapists might suggest to cultivate a sexy sweet tooth and put a lilt in your libido.

Sample from the sexual spice rack. For many couples, sex becomes as exciting as doing the dishes because they do the same thing all the time.
Reading
a sex manual and trying new positions or new techniques may add a renewed dash of zest to making love, Dr. Zussman says.

 

Don’t forget to touch. People with low libidos often are reluctant to express any sort of affection toward their mates, according to Jo Marie Kessler, registered nurse practitioner, certified sex therapist and educator in private practice in
San Diego
. They may believe their gestures amount to teasing or will spark a debate over making love, but the loss of touch makes their partners feel unwanted and unloved.

 

"I always encourage them to maintain or resume expressions of affection—a kiss on the cheek or lips, casual touches on the arm or shoulder, a brush of their hair," she says. "Both partners need to demonstrate that they care, but with the understanding that the display of affection is not a signal for sex."

 

Read something risqué. You don’t have to don sunglasses and a trench coat and creep into an adult bookstore, Kessler says, "but you could read some romance novels, love poems or erotic literature to try to nurture or enhance your own sensuality."

 

Spend an hour in the shower. Don’t treat bath time as just a three-minute clean-up before you dash out the door to work. "Avail yourself of all the sensual experiences in the shower or tub," Kessler says. Feel the pleasure of the water as it dances on your skin. Lather yourself gently and sensually, perhaps with a loofah sponge rather than a washcloth. Use bath salts and lightly scented candles.

 

Let your fingers do the talking. Take the time and pleasure to know your own body and your partner’s without any pressure to have intercourse and orgasm, Kessler says. "Focus on the leisurely exploration of each other’s bodies, and share the joy and intimacy of that alone." Touch each other, feel and caress each other’s genitals, notice the sensations of your two bodies as they move about. Tell each other what feels good.

 

Don’t hesitate to help yourself. Sexual self-gratification is not dirty or wrong, Kessler says. In fact, a person with low libido can use masturbation to learn what feels good to his or her body, so that sex provides positive feedback instead of negative feedback. Practice first in private, she suggests, where you won’t be so self-conscious, then broach the topic of mutual masturbation with your mate.

 

Cont…