How to tell him don’t without stopping everything?

This is going to be a multi-note question:
My BF and I are very close, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. He loves BJ’s and I happen to enjoy giving them. But he always wants to put his mouth on me too. It’s not awful, I just don’t enjoy it. I know that if ever I asked him to not do something, he wouldn’t, but because I was raped *blush* back in October, when I tell him to stop anything… he gets very nervous and appologetic and the mood is lost. I don’t want all to stop, but I dunno how to tell him ‘don’t’ without him thinking it’s upsetting me. Even if I tell him it’s not, he will still be on edge for me. He’s just that good a guy. *smile* anyway, so any ideas what I can do to just distract him from that goal instead? Thanks muchly. I didn’t have the guts to leave my name :-p lol

To the above, just tell him "Sorry, I’m not into having that done to me." Don’t dance around the issue, that makes guys confused. Just be clear and communicate with him. Maybe you can suggest something else for him to do to you, but don’t just shut him down completely. He’s just looking for a way to give you pleasure in return for what you do for him. [hardguy]

I know this is kind of late and I don’t know if you still need me to answer this or not, but I still will anyway. Hardguy had a good point, you don’t want to dace around the issue. That will not help you or him with this, it will just make it worse. My best advice to you is to just talk to him about it, but don’t talk to him about it why you are doing anything, that will not be the best timing to talk. You want him to listen to you and to know what you are saying, so make sure you aren’t doing anything that has to do with sex when you talk to him.

Just tell him that, yes you were raped, but that doesn’t mean every time I tell you to stop doing something it has to do with the rape. Let him know you like what he does to you, but you don’t like everything he does to you, and tell him the things you don’t like as much as the other things. Tell him you want him to give you pleasure as well, it’s not that, it’s just that it’s just that what he does your aren’t in to to much.

If you are up front with him and tell him what is going on and why you want him to stop at times, when you aren’t doing anything to each other, it may work out better, he may be able to listen to what you are saying and believe it. i hope this helps you, and I’m sorry it was so late. Take Care!

Before you asked your question, make sure I haven’t answered it already…
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