01/23/2011

Since the last time I wrote…

I signed the divorce paperwork, and made one last attempt to explain that I viewed it as a mistake to throw out our relationship without ever attempting to fix it.  She filed it about a week and a half after she received it.  As far as I’m concerned, that’s it.  Part of me wants to really stay in contact with her, talking to her every day, because that’s what I’m used to.  The other part of me wants to never speak with her again, because talking to her is painful, like poking at a stitched up wound – it’s closed, and when you press hard on it, it hurts, but less than when you let it go again.  So I speak with her on and off, and stumble my way through it.

An old friend from college moved in with me – so that extra few bucks a month should come in handy, plus it’s nice for change to have someone to hang out with here in town.  He brought his own dog with him, so it’s a bit of a zoo here with a cat and two dogs running around.

I have settled a bit more into the routine of school.  It’s coming easier, and the other day was one of the first I’ve had all year where I found myself in the middle of a discussion about the importance of differences (they are reading The Giver) and I just thought to myself "This, this is what it’s supposed to be like.  This is how it’s supposed to feel."  Any victory, no matter how small at this point.  Of course, now that things are starting to get into a smooth rhythm, one of the other teachers I work with has decided that her class is such a disaster that she needs to toss us a few of her grenades.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I am willing to do whatever is necessary for these kids to be successful.  If that means dealing with a month or so of playing catch-up with some kids and upsetting the balance a little bit – fine.  I just think that her personality is a HUGE part of why this class is how it is.  She is one of those people for whom EVERYTHING is a major crisis.  You cannot have that kind of attitude and work with the behavior issue kids that she has in her class.  I know this from experience – the majority of my teaching experience is in behavior classrooms – many of the kids in those classes have 504’s or IEP’s (basically paperwork describing some kind of documented disability – bi-polar disorder for one) and need a calm, collected, reasonable, and flexible person… but mostly, they need someone who is completely aware of how they appear to their students.  Basically what ended up happening was that she told me and another teacher that she was going to be giving us each 5 of her students, and that in return we were going to give her 5 of ours.

There was no discussion.  There was no real warning.  We had no input.  That is NOT how this kind of shit is supposed to go down.  I work really really REALLY hard to create good relationships with my kids.  This BITCH just stepped in and told me that I now have to give her 5 kids that I have invested half a school year working on.  Bullshit.  (in case you haven’t picked up on it yet, I’m upset about this)

The most frustrating part of this is that she refused to give them to me right away – she is making me wait to swap until semester.  Her kids coming in will be half the book behind everyone else, and my kids will be halfway through a book and will basically be throwing all of their work on it away. 

Now here’s the kicker.  There is another girl in her class.  She has been diagnosed as bi-polar, but I don’t yet know which diagnosis (there are different kinds if I remember correctly) it is yet.  I still need to find out.  This girl absolutely HATES her.  The teacher thinks that she has built this great relationship with the girl.  She couldn’t be more wrong.  I approached one of the people in charge of making this change and suggested that I take the student – she has asked no fewer than 10 times to be moved to my class.  I forced the move through.

The teacher had the balls to say to me that she was upset by this move because " she was not included in this discussion, and it has been made without consulting her."  It was all I could do to keep my mouth from falling open – her complete lack of understanding was shocking.  All I did was the exact same thing she had done, but she obviously didn’t see it that way.

Well, this entry is quite a bit longer than I expected when I sat down to write it.