Nocturne in Gee Major

In which our Hero plays up his Nocturne without ever putting a finger on her

Today I told my parents about Nocturne.

Could be a big deal because I haven’t admitted to an interest in a woman in nearly a decade. And the only time I’ve done this before, it was the ex. My parents didn’t like the ex. I’ve written about the horrific experience of bringing the two of them together, and I’ve written about the criteria that disrecommended her in my parents eyes. And they were right, I can’t deny that they were right about her, for all the ugliness of how they attempted to assert that.

Not the point. The point is that the last time I talked to my parents about someone, it was as if the ground opened up underneath me. And knowing how vastly different the circumstances were did not stop me from anxious glances towards my feet, reassuring myself the ground was still there.

Could be a big deal because I just told them about a woman I haven’t yet managed to be in the same room with. In honesty, despite the degree of interest in Nocturne, I’ve actually been holding off on telling people about her because of that lack. She’s important to me, and significant in my life, but I’ve been wanting to look her in the eye before I talk to other people about her in any detail. They don’t understand the perpetual conference call that allows us to share a room. How are they going to understand that we’ve never laid eyes on each other?

The counterargument, and the countervailing pressure, is that I’m proud of Nocturne, and excited, and I’ve been struggling with wanting to talk about her, to my parents, to the Mouse, and my Moonbeam.

I’m still waiting to tell the girls. But it really made sense to talk to my parents and tell them about this Nocturne I’m interested in. Because of the secret plan. Which I’m not going to be talking about just yet, but makes me look forward to this holiday season very much.

As for the telling, it was funny how reasonable the conversation was. Aside from the actual nail-biting part of just getting my parents collective attention. I mentioned I’d found someone interesting, and they asked who she was and we spent the next while talking about my best friend.

So many reflexes at war. Part of my trying to not talk about her because that’s my habit, and that’s her preference. Part of me really really enjoying the chance to brag about my girlfriend.

They kind of took the opportunity to talk about some of the things on their mind. My parents have been very concerned that as they get older, I’ve got nobody but them who I can really count on. And with some amusement, their concerns with Nocturne are basically, “What if she realizes she can do better?”

Anyway, they know we haven’t had face time. And my parents think I should go meet her. Which basically catches them up to everybody else who knows the situation. But they’ve given me their blessing to proceed. Which isn’t entirely why I was telling them, but it was nice to hear.

And now, in the aftermath, I’m up too late, enjoying the glow. It was a good conversation, where I got to share someone I love with others as dear.