Ell Two

In which our Hero finds another bit of housekeeping at the top of the list since he’s having trouble coming up with better things to write about

I’m a lurker anyway, so you won’t notice my absence, but I wanted to say, good bye. Except it’s not really good bye, it’s “Grow up” But we don’t know each other at all, let alone enough for me to express my frustration with you.

I want to shake you. I want to just shake you. Because you’re hung up on this inflexion point in your life, and I don’t care. I know it was a significant personal moment but you’re not a special snowflake. You’re not the only one with baggage from the past (and as baggage goes I can probably find a match for your trials and tribulations in under 5 clicks of the random diarist link). And unlike other people you don’t seem to learn, you don’t seem to progress.

And that’s where my interest ends. You’re boring, because you don’t grow, you don’t progress and for me to read you is an investment of my time and attention on a person who pretends to self-awareness but doesn’t manage to use any of it to find their own way. Be right, be wrong, which one is less important than just getting some progress.

You want my honest advice? Start with letting go of your self-absorption. We are the stars of our own stories, but unlike a sitcom, the people around us exist for their own stories and not as satellites to you. If you need help doing that, consider finding someone to talk to, a friend, a therapist. But at a minimum, you keep going back to a well you know is poisoned and you learn nothing from each time it makes you sick.

And you’ve exhausted my ability to watch. Your posts are rare which is how I forget to remove you from my bookmarks but even so, I am already tired when your name shows up. I can spend hours with a baby, and hours talking to an adult, but both of those are sophisticated and evolving and you don’t even have a real delusion of change.

I hope I’m wrong. Maybe you’re on your way to big new things, and I hope you find a way to get free of your eternal orbit. But you waste my attention, and I learn nothing. Have a nice day, though I suspect you’d rather hide away and mutter about your precious.