All I want for Christmas

In which our Hero thinks that the worst part in all of this is how that annoying mariah carey song actually fits this year. (It’s not that she’s a bad singer or even that the song is bad, it’s just overplayed)

By long tradition, I write a dumb-ass poem or spoof to mark Christmas. Except I’m homesick for Nocturne. We were trying to pull off holidays together and I know there’ll be other holidays and anyway her long terrible exile will be ending not far from now but… I have some sulking left to do.

And on that note…

Objection, Your Honour

This is a note to the Man at the Pole
about the gift which I think has been stole.
I’m certain my wishes were made very clear
Don’t make up excuses involving reindeer

I wrote him a letter and sent it first class
And my behaviour this year, no one could surpass
So I think I’ve met all the terms I understood
And that why this Christmas is not very good

I don’t think I’m being ungrateful at all
I don’t think I’m being biased or small
I think I have earned myself something quite fine
and I don’t see how I could fall short of the line

So explain yourself Santa, you scurrilous churl!
Why is it I don’t get today with my girl?
I’m not saying my stocking’s all coal
Just that in my mind a date was the goal.

I’m a reasonable guy, so where is my miss?
Is it asking so much for a hug and a kiss?
I wish she was here and her absence is felt
as I console myself with some bourbon and smelt.

Fix this, St Nick, get my Nocturne to me
Or I’ll go to her, I am hardly picky
but next year had not better play out this way
lest you find a cut brake-line on the old sleigh.

In fairness, I’m actually drinking Japanese Whiskey, but I don’t think it’s an unreasonable fudge. Artistic license and all that.

Last night I was at the family Christmas party and I just wasn’t in the mood. I don’t know why, it just hasn’t felt like christmas at all, and it’s not just that I’m still wearing a windbreaker and no gloves. At the party I was helping my aunt when she needed a warm body, but she has a son-in-law now and so he’s got pride of place. So other than that, I’d lurk a little bit to cover social obligations and after that I avoided.

I ended up hiding with the Bobs, the three of us hanging in the basement playing with balls from various sports and activities. Turns out the littlest Bob has been learning how to spin a basketball on his finger and it’s actually part of the life plan he’s figured out. (Which by the way, is a startling set of words to hear from a 10-year-old) But yeah, he’s going to join his school basketball team, then the high school basketball team, then he’s going to attend UNC and play basketball which will lead him either to the NBA or the Harlem Globetrotters. I’m not laughing at that, I’m awestruck by the ambition.

After a while, other family discovered us and it turned into a crowd. I excused myself and joined another group where a fifteen-year-old girl started talking to me. She’s almost my high now. And she apologized for rambling because she was talking a fair bit about all kinds of things. But it was definitely a conversation. And I have no way to explain to her the pleasure in just talking to her and the pleasure in how she’s grown up into this wonderful and interesting person.

So all in all, I had a great time. Not what I expected, not the way I expected. But that’s okay. It’s good to be surprised.

Merry Christmas to my OD peeps. Merry Christmas to your families, your loved ones, your friends, your pets, all the people and peopleables that bring joy to your lives and home to your hearts, wherever they may be. Merry Christmas from me, and a wish for the very best of whatever you believe in to you.

And now I have a PVR full of Doctor Who specials, a bottle of A’bunadh, and a box of chocolate, all demanding my attention.

With love,