75 unclever ideas

In which our Hero is up, up in arms, and up in the fridge looking for a snack

[BonnieRose] suggested we make something of a garden/art project out of our OpenDiary by setting down regrets to be buried with the rest of the site. I’m intrigued by the idea. At the same time, some of those are great stones buried deep, and I don’t know that I want to disinter them. What if there’s unprocessed hurt there?

At this point, I’m regretting this regret project. The act of unpacking that particular box means reconsidering questions that were comfortably abandoned and while the more trivial regrets and the better pickled ones are both comfortably ignored, the deep regrets, even without being fresh, come with cords of emotion and memory that mean they cannot be touched without stirring the whole.

But much more than that I’m deeply regretting the impulse to try to make my arbitrary, artificial, unimportant but apparently OCD-engaging goal for the number of entries in my OD before my OD explODs (that honestly makes me laugh out loud). I mean, 74 entries about regret in the next 1-3 days? It’s going get monotonous. Or just unmomentous. I’ll use up all the good regrets and start bemoaning pants. Ooh, hey, I need to write that one down.

And now I’m forced awake in the middle of the night, and can’t seem to go to bed without putting another crappy post on the middens. Terribly sorry. Perhaps if you’re suffering you can come up with a suggestion for how to occupy myself for another 74 entries. But it has to be kind of simplistic, only because anything requiring actual profundity may be a little beyond me.

I’ve already put contact information into a more official farewell to this place. Everything since that entry is just doodling in the notebook because there are a few pages left. Just in case, though, good bye.