25 / 40

In which time flies and our Hero has fun

It still surprises me sometimes as I discover things I have in common with my parents. It shouldn’t, but it does. So I kind of just sat back and enjoyed the show as my parents sat at a somewhat early party on the weekend past, for an aunt’s 25th wedding anniversary and didn’t say a word about the fact that it was their 40th wedding anniversary the next day.

Forty years.

I’ve hit the point where I’ve started referring to myself as forty, but I’m not, and it’ll take a while to adjust to that idea. Adding the fact that my parents have been together that long defies my ability to hold the idea in my head. But they’re still good to each other, in spite of all the things that life brings, including getting older. They squabble like… a horde, really. Sometimes like children, sometimes like statesmen. But they are kind to each other, in little ways.

I was reflecting on that idea a lot this past weekend. Or maybe just noticing it. Sure, there’s an obligation to say hi to people, to pay respect. But when she saw my cousin standing near her, my mom flashed this smile, and it was genuine pleasure at seeing her nephew. And I was much more conscious of the same kind of smiles from the various aunts. There’s something important in that, and I’m not sure what exactly to call out. But I saw it again and again as family moved together. And I felt it as one of the Bobs stopped by to talk to me.

There was supposed to be a surprise party for them. In fact, originally, I was thinking to throw a party for them. But then my dad’s kid brother and his family hijacked the whole thing. Annoying, but whatever. Anyway, for most of the last year, it was this secret conspiracy. Until that uncle got diagnosed with a nasty cancer and suddenly nobody knew what to do. Suddenly it seemed really awkward to invite that side of the family when they must surely be preoccupied (which is a silly-ass reason but this is what the planners declared so, again, fine).

So the planners proposed a new plan which was to be just a smaller party, not surprising, but something about the idea annoyed my dad, so he kinda just put his foot down and said no. Vigourously enough that they called me to tell me that the plan B that they hadn’t told me about was dead too. Umm. Okay.

Frankly I think they enjoyed this more. An evening out, a lot of old friends, no attention and that’s it. But I’m waiting for a break in the assault of family occasions so I can take them out for just-us surprise party. I think they’d enjoy that too.