Ethan’s Funeral

Ethan’s parents put a lot of thought into yesterday’s funeral. The Order of Service booklets had a colour photo of Ethan on the cover – it wouldn’t have been cheap to get 200 copies printed.

Ethan’s coffin had yellow flowers on top as yellow was his favourite colour. At the start of Mass, Ethan’s two godmothers placed his favourite hat and stuffed toy on the coffins top.

His dad then spoke about Ethan’s short life and what Ethan had taught him. A short video was then played on the overhead prjection screen. The video was a compilation of homevideo footage of Ethan’s life. As this was being shown, “Beautiful Boy” by John Lennon was played over the PA system.

At communion time, people were invited as they came passed Ethan’s coffin, to stop and place their hand on a yellow ribbon that was hanging from inside the coffin. The ribbon was tied to Ethan’s hand, and, as people touched the ribbon outside the coffin, it served as a reminder that we are still united whether in life or death. Now I know some people will find this very strange. I have to admit, it’s not something I would do. But it wasn’t my son we were burying. If this is the way this family wanted to celebrate Ethan’s life and death, then it’s not up to me to stop them in their expression.

At the end of Mass, Ethan’s dad carried his little coffin out of the church to the hearse, after which we proceeded to the cemetery, where there is a portion set aside for babies and young children. After the prayers concluded, brightly coloured balloons were released into the air, yellow being the prominent colour. People were invited to remain for a few minutes, but then to leave the family and myself in private. After all had left, Ethan’s father was the one who filled in his grave with earth. Usually this would have been done by an employee of the cemetery, but he wanted to be the one to do it. As he said: “I bought him into the world, and I’ll see him safely out of it.”