First Response

So I am having a normal Wednesday feeling so much better.  It was like I woke up with a smile on my face, had no trouble getting out of bed.  I feel like a new person.  I don’t know how to explain it.  I guess I didn’t realized just how much of a load I was carrying around with me.  I am so happy that I told him how I truly feel.  This way it is all out there and I have nothing else to worry about or hide.

I still had not heard from him, by the time I returned home from work, so I continue to go about my day…La La La, feeling good when all of a sudden that night I am on the phone and happen to click over not knowing it would be him. Breathe Serenity Breathe, as my heart begins to race, I had not planned to hear from him so soon.  I was caught off guard, but whatever I handled myself.

He says to me, I wanted to let you know that I did get your email and I didn’t get a chance to respond and I wanted to let you know that I wasn’t ignoring it or that I didn’t care, I have had a crazy day, and I realized that this is very important and wanted to call and let you know. 

Hmm that’s fine with me, say no more.  I know the situation, the only thing I would want to hear out of your mouth, would be you feel the same way and want to try this out.  But I know that is not the case right now.  So I am satisfied with you knowing how I feel.  But it was weird, your tone was the old tone when were first begin talking or were together, whatever you want to call it.  It felt good and I don’t know I was even more comforted with your being on the phone with me.

If I knew telling you I love you would have made me feel this good to release it, I would have said it 4 months ago when I realized I did.  I am learning that it is not good to keep your feelings bottled up, it can be very unhealthy and it’s crazy because you don’t even realize it.  But I feel like everything is back on track.

And I got the JOB, so I think I may accept.J