Maybe the End
I have a moderate overdose amassed before me. It’s all I have left – I wisely disposed of many boxes of painkillers years ago. I couldn’t be trusted. I have paracetomol and antidepressants. A few. If I die, enjoy my diary before it is deleted. If I live, woe betide me. I am spent. Life holds much promise, but all is tinged with pain. I loved them all.
i’ve had that in my mind for the past 10 yrs. too painful to go on..so many times…i’m afraid to live..afraid to die. so many times i feel like i have nothing to live for..trying to get proper help..not getting it..and then being afraid of trying to get better, and it won’t last..life is scary..it is painful..it is sad..but there are small, beautiful things that i try to hold onto..
Warning Comment
Sweetheart, you are too young to give up on life. I saw this on the OD front page and have read back a few of your entries. I understand you are hurting right now, but the pain will lessen in time and new joys await you. Please…if you haven’t already taken them then don’t. Call a friend who might come and stay with you until you feel better. If you’ve already done this terrible thing but are reading this…call a friend who can take you to the hospital or call for an ambulance. I’m sure you have many people who care about you and would be devestated to lose you. This sadness you feel is temporary. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you…lots of laughing and loving still to do. I’m hoping to come back and find new entries here. Otherwise I shall be deeply saddened that a young life was needlessly cut short. ~hugs~
Warning Comment
I’m sorry. Please don’t give in or up.
Warning Comment
Not sure if you’re alive to read this: if you take the pills with alcohol chances are you will throw up and/or make a mes of wherever you are. It will hurt and not be entirely successful but you will get Drs and Nurses to pay attention to you, if that is your aim. If your aim is actually to die, perhaps reconsider the method.
Warning Comment