entry

I haven’t written a real entry in awhile. Not sure what to write about. I work. I could write about people I work with.

Outside of work I don’t do anything (right now anyway). Weather is too cold, too much snow to do anything. So I sit and watch tv

The other weekend we went to Sioux Falls. Did some shopping, went to a hockey game.

Plus, I don’t like writing in here when Aaron’s next to me (Aaron is the boyfriend).

The other day, Scott (Friend) mentioned I must have depression. I have thought about that for years. I told him I know what I want but won’t get it. Like, the whole work situation. Hate working. I want to be lazy and not work. But I can’t afford to not work. I don’t know what kind of job to have where I’d be happy. I don’t like mornings (nothing before 9 AM. 830-9 would be a grey area). I don’t like dealing with people. I’d want to part sit, part move around at a job.

When I was a freshman in college even my step mom said I’d want one of the ‘unusual’ jobs. I didn’t know what I wanted to go to college for. I never finished college. I didn’t like the schooling part. Kinda felt that way in high school too

Then with the depression comment, I don’t have any friends in this town. A lot within the last 8ish years I’ve been annoyed with people and friends. It was then I realized I didn’t want to deal with people anymore. I’d try to do something with people outside of work. Every time plans were made, everyone wold bail on me. Tried to give people multiple chances, but I always got walked on. I realized I’d have to be my own friend. It’s why I don’t try to make friends, everyone uses me or bails. Deep down, yes, I’d want a connection. But I’m too bitter about it anymore.