What a week!

Gentle Heart!

You’ve certainly have taken a beating!

I must be gentle with my heart and soul!

I’ve certainly been harsh with myself.

I have just gotten over my period and it has been a trying time! Ever since last Monday I’ve done nothing but feel miserable and cry unconsolably at imaginary insults.

Alex hasn’t been on much because he has been very tired lately..so he has been on and off the computer and hasn’t been e-mailing me much. Although he has stated that he is very sorry for not being around much for me and he has been tired lately, but still has had time and the kindness to send me e-cards explaining his whereabouts lately, I’ve been a bit obessive and unreasonable about it. I keep looking in my e-mail address account periodically to see if Alex has written me. I know this is absurd and the equivilent of a lady who sits around staring at the telephone to ring, but it is driving me nuts! I love him so and although I realize that I can’t have him glued to the Net or phone for twenty-four hours, but this is sheer agony when he is not around! I am so addicted to my Alex that I am going to the same syndrome as any addict, including the cold sweats.

I wish I can strangle myself! I must be loving towards myself and realize that this is only normal for a person who has just found love for the first time. I want to cling to him…be a lasting part in his life and realize that he can’t live without me..but I must realize that life flows in between us and we cannot distrupt our obligations. I must learn to be patient with him and myself. Besides, distance is beneficial to any healthy relationship. Oh, but God! I miss him so much!

I want to hold him tight and love him properly!

I want to go on long walks with him and cuddle close to him on cold nights and kiss him slowly and passionately.

I can’t live without him!

I received a phone call from this friend from Hong Kong!

It was a nice experience. He congratulated me on my relationship with Alex.

I must go to bed now.

I want to close my eyes and think of Alex lying next to me.

SensualRose @}>->->->-