Speech for Dad

 My father simply cannot be summed up.  Mere words don’t seem to do him justice.  If the situation were reversed, he wouldn’t need a piece of paper, or indeed a microphone, to be heard.  I, however, need these things, and his guidance today.

Growing up, my dad was Mr. Fix-It.  Whether it was helping me with my math homework, or teaching me how to use tools properly and avoid hammering thumbs and other important digits, there was never a problem he couldn’t solve.  He approached cancer in much the same way, it was merely another hurdle to get past, and didn’t stop him from doing things he loved or spending time with his beloved family and friends.  He applied the same work ethic which had driven his career and was determined to triumph.  My father was not a man who was accustomed to giving up and fought his hardest ’til the very end.

In addition to his tough spirit, my father instilled values in me that he followed himself daily.  Be nice to people, cuz you never know who could end up screwing you over later.  Work hard, but don’t forget to treat yourself.  He was the first to tell me when I needed to put myself first, and worry about my own needs at times when I’d forgotten how to do this.  Our relationship wasn’t always perfect, but I’d grown to understand the man he was, and I feel fortunate to have gotten closer to him in my adult years.  He never let me forget that he’d always be a fan of mine, and was proud of all I’d accomplished with my life.  He is part of the reason I inject humour into every facet of life, for without laughter, what is life?  Indeed, when the time came to tell him I was gay, he approached it in much the same manner.  I was nervous, and it took me several tries to find the right words, and finally said "Dad…I like girls.  I’m pretty sure I’m gay." and with that familiar twinkle in his eyes, he replied, "Yeah, and?"  I breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Okay, yeah, I was pretty sure you knew already." and he said "Yep, we were just waiting for you to ‘fess up."

My dad was the most generous man I’ve known.  That old expression "he’d give you the shirt off his back" must’ve been written about ol’ Ralphie, and I try to follow this same principle myself.  He continually tried to find the good in people everyone else had given up on, and there was no such thing as "too many chances".  He committed his life to his family and every community he belonged to, volunteering his time and that giant heart of his, far beyond the call of duty.  He did his best to support our family, even when we’d fallen on the hardest of times.  When I was 12 years old, he held down three jobs just to put food on our table and allow us small luxuries.  My only wish is that I had been able to appreciate his sacrifices more at the time.

My father’s life may have been claimed by cancer, but his legacy will continue on for years to come.  He touched so many different lives in his 56 years on this earth, and will be remembered fondly for all he contributed.  For anyone out there touched by this terrible disease, spare a moment to think of my father, and fight twice as hard.  He wouldn’t want his efforts to be in vain, and someday hopefully this evil can be beaten.  The power lies within us all.

~SS

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September 6, 2012

Oh, SS… I’m so so sorry for your loss. What a lovely tribute to your dad. I have no doubt he was smiling down on you with pride as you read it. I read your last entry, and it must have been so hard to relive it. But I’m glad it was a release for you. You always have your friends on OD to talk to! Big hugs to you and thoughts & prayers for you and your family. I’m so sorry.