Maybe Iam Meant To Be Alone???

Everytime i start  talkin to a new person something always happends that makes us not work out. And for some reason i do better by myself so maybe thats a sign that i should be Ms. Independent untill the day i die? I have ppl i like and they like me, duhh but none of them are workin out. They are not in a certain order just which ever one comes to my mind first.

• STEVEN= we were talkin,he chose is ex over me and went back wit her then recently they broke up and me and him have been talkin tryin to work things out to see if we goin to start talkin again. But its not how it was the first time it feels different like we are perminately close friends like idk.
• CHUCK= we suppositley go together but we barely talk and see eachother because he lives in the city, we went to middle school together but i just recently found out that he liked me since middle school over the summer so we started talkin and now go together. ( NO ONE KNOWS EXCEPT MY BESTFRIEND AND HIS FAMILY )
• MARK= we like eachother we i guess talk, he got exspelled for fighting but is commin back in january so i cant wait but we were about to switch numbers but he was too scared to ask so i told myself when we came back to school monday i would ask or something but then monday i found out there was a fight over the weekend at the football game and he was in it so he got exspelled and i found him on myspace sunday so we just got back in contact again and its kind not the same.
• CJ= we together but only me and my bestfriend know,he is in and out of jail, long story but he got locked up amonth ago and got out last wensday. I was sittin on my porch and he drived up mad cussin askin where have i been i told him i have been ova my mother house he said ok he would be back so we could talk cus we havent seen eachother in a month. so 20minutes later he comes knocks on my door then when i open he comes in limping and runs up the stairs in the bathroom. Iam like dont be commin in my house like that then he comes out and iam like whats wrong? He says i been shot i say what? he repeats his self so iam like shocked as hell iam like show me so he pulls down his pants and there is a bullet hole leekin blood wit a bandage on it i tell him let me take it out and he says no so we talk real quick. he sayin he missed me and thought about me everyday and all this other stuff and iam expressing how i feel too. Then he says i love you and i say what then he says i mean it i loved you since the first time i saw you then i almost cryed and said it back then we kissed and hugged then he says he has to go see his paroll officer today and he is probably going to get locked up again cus he is shot and is going to be hella late cus he has to go to the hospital and po’s dont care what ur going thru if u not there at the time they say they lock you back up without bleenkin for paroll violation 🙁  so he said he loves me and i said l love you too we kissed and then hugged for like a minute then he left. so today i was hopin he would come knock on my door which means he didnt get locked back up and he is ok. But he didnt and i kno nothing  i just have to wait untill i see one of his homeboys and ask what happend and is he ok. i just have to wait and it hurts because i really care for him and i have to wait for him to show up again 🙁 THATS WHY MY YESTURDAY AFTERNOON WAS LIKE A DREAM BUT IT WAS REAL.
• TYRONE= he is my ex of 3yrs and 9months, i dont even kno anymore,iam so done wit him he doesnt call or txt so today he txts me n be like whats up iam like nuffin home cus iam sick he says iam on the way to school i say oh ard and that was the end of the confersation we had. so yea fuck him and iam not callin him or txtin him. 

SO BASICALLY EVERYONE I START TALKIN TO SOMETHING HAPPENDS THEN WE START TALKIN AGAIN AND IT IS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN, UGH!!!! IAM SO FED UP WITH HAVING A HEART AND MEMORYS. BECAUSE IAM NEVER GOING TO FORGET CJ AND EVERYTIME I LEAVE OUT MY HOUSE OR WALK TO THE BUS STOP OR SIT ON MY PORCH ALL THE MEMORYS OF ME AND HIM COME BACK LIKE ME DOIN HIS HAIR ON MY PORCH OR HIM WALKIN ME TO THE BUS STOP STUFF LIKE THAT LIKE UGH I CANT WAIT TO SEE HIM AGAIN I MISS HIM SOOOO MUCH ALREADY THAT I WANT TO CRY BUT THERES NOTHING I CAN DO UNTILL HE COMES TO ME AGAIN WHEN HE GETS OUT OF JAIL OR WHERE EVER

I NEED OPIONIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!