12/12/12

 It was brought to my attention that my last public entry was 11/11/11, so I should make another one today. So, here ya go, outsiders.

So what Joe is calling Summit 2012 is tentatively scheduled for Dec. 27. The few people I’ve told about the situation have basically told me that I need to do what is going to make me happy. And right now, I’m not sure what that is. I know that my time with Joe is the happiest I’ve ever been, but I know the way it ended was pretty damn low. So we need to talk everything out. We never really worked at our relationship, because, well…we never thought we needed to. I never really worked on a relationship with someone. With J, I was always giving, giving, giving, and he never did. Same with JMK. So I think that Joe is willing to have this summit is a good thing. I have no idea what’s going to happen, but it will be good for us to get everything out in the open. I’m not looking forward to the tears I will most likely shed, but no matter what the outcome, there will be wine involved afterwards. Winston Churchill once said regarding champagne, "In victory, I deserve it. In defeat, I need it." I feel like this will be one of those times.

I’m having some trouble figuring out what I want to be when I grow up, so to speak. It’s been such a hard road to teach and I’m starting to feel like I need to throw in the towel and move onto something else. I graduated college almost 6 years ago (12/15/06) and I’ve got nearly nothing to show for it. It’s disheartening and discouraging and frustrating as hell. I’ve applied to other positions but no calls back. I feel lost…like I just don’t know what else I could possibly do. But I need to do something other than just scrape by, because that is getting old very quickly. So at the close of 2012, big changes are coming. Let’s hope they’re all for the better.