The Last Poem

So I’ve decided that after I finish my portfolio for my poetry independent study…

…I will never write another poem.

Because at the end of the day, I suck.  I’m tired of poetry being the only thing I’m good at and still sucking.

I made a fool out of myself tonight.  There was poetry open mike night and I figured that no one would come and I could read and it would be good.  Instead, there were a lot of people who were really talented, far better than I could ever be and I made a total ass out of my self.

If it were only a matter of me not being a good writer, no biggie, most of the world sucks at writing.  The problem is that I’ve been basing my whole life on writing because it’s the only thing I’m good at.  Like all those unrealistic dreams I’ve mentioned?  So one of them was to write a novel and another was to become a conservative slam poet.

Now, putting aside the question of whether or not there’s actually a niche for a conservative slam poet, I can guarantee you if that niche exists, I am not good enough to fill it.  And all my novel ideas are crap and I write them badly.  And I have pretty much nothing else going for me either so….yeah….I’m in a great mood.

I’m embarrassed also because I got cocky and I thought my stuff was so good.  *bitter laugh*

Last night and today was good for the most part though.  Basically, I drank from 3 pm to midnight and it was mostly glorious with the exception of the part when I was throwing up.  Luckily, my roommates were gone last night or I would have never heard the end of it and they would have stolen all my alcohol for sure.  Anyway, I was supremely hungover this morning, but the weather was gorgeous and it cured me and I had a pretty decent day.

Kind of unfortunate that I should learn tonight that I’m hopeless at everything, but….

…that’s what chocolate and alcohol are for.  (Enjoying those right now)