rummaging;

Every entry I write feels like a long-winded tailspin.

Like I’m building precarious little bridges between

the cracks in the picture, or having a seamstress or

Italian tailor fix the frays in one of my suit jackets;

above & beyond the stage of experience, observing it,

rolling it around between my thumb and index finger

trying to internalize it as being round and symmetrical.

But vague, especially vague,

like having seen magic shows with your parents and it leaves

the mark of experience, however, you can’t piece together

the closure of concept.

QR code Rorschach test

and a big blurry circle of analysis.

­

I’ve been rummaging through the past decade

of my writing fragments. What a gamble.

In summary:

• Left wondering, always wondering.
• Right turn or U-turn into the next phase.
• Carseat in front of a television set with myself et al.
• Middle class being slowly dismembered on the chopping block.
• Relevant more, relevant less.
• Occasional rain likely for the next several hours.
• “Self” is thematic institution & illusion.
• All are atop the sphere where splitting up atoms

practically and efficiently will sell better than

all wars and George Clooney movies combined.

“Harnessing the sun,” you’ll hear again, and

likely care once it powers your toaster or defines

newer parameters of poltergeist instead of being

strapped to rockets and perched toward God, men in rooms

deciding for us that death won’t ride in like Slim Pickens

just yet.

­

Or something like that.

There’s 20,000 more words and concepts and plenty of run on

sentences to try and splice together or reconfigure: items #1-990;

it makes me want to drink or start chain-smoking on the balcony

again, because I never saw a majority of these concepts to completion.

And it reminds me of every instance of not finding termination

(or determination) through a deliberative thought process.

Understanding is not meant to be measured in parsecs.

But understanding, whatever that truly means, requires at least

picking up the ruler and seeing if it’s a proper measuring tool.

I’m done until next time.