I admit it.

I miss Yai. I miss my world. I miss her weird antics and her strange viewpoints in life and her manic-depressive personality and the way she gets way too attached to fictional characters and the way she called me "hers" and go jealous of anyone who she felt could interfere with that. I miss the way I used to always make her sad and stress unneedingly about problems that weren’t that big. I miss her dramatic approach to all of her little problems. I miss pouring my heart, soul, love, passion, and effort into her because it made me feel needed, and it made it easier to ignore my own problems. I miss coming up with headcanons and talking from the time we wake up until we go to bed. I miss the way she sounded when she called me "Twinie", and I miss referring to her as such. I miss bending to her every whim and giving up my usually independent personality just to make her happy. I miss getting adorable pictures with her amazingly curly hair and adorable little beauty mark. I miss the soft tone her voice had and her adorable giggle. I miss having her. I miss being her friend. I miss her.

It’s almost been a year, and I miss her goddamnit.

I want her back. I want the love of my life back. Even if the feelings are platonic, it fucking hurts not having her. I don’t care how damaging it is to me, because she made me so happy, and I want. Her. Back. 

But what kills me is she doesn’t miss me. I want my twinie back…