When Monsters Die

(And those I have met, and have yet to meet)

Introduction: These writings are part of a journal that I began roughly four months ago in response to my reaction to the collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore.

In this journal I detail my mental turmoil from past events, including the death of someone known to me who jumped to his death from the bridge many years ago. I am also trying to deal with all of the emotional upheaval that was stirred up since then. During that period (and continuing on) I explore why I am having such strong emotions and also ways to deal with them. In addition, I delve into my past, back to events of my youth to look for clues. Finally, I dive deep into the symbolic and metaphoric meaning of the bridge and its collapse, the dichotomy between the baleful and the beneficial, and how that might relate to my experience. I will post entries until I am caught up the current time.

When Monsters Die

(And those I have met, and have yet to meet)

Somewhere in my mind is a twilight valley where trepidation and fascination blend together like the colors of a sunset, a place where exhilaration and apprehension can sometimes coexist. In this valley a sense of danger, or at least the illusion of it, meanders thru like a dark river. Many of the monsters I’ve crossed paths with and their memories live on in there. But what becomes a monster to me? What seemingly ordinary thing becomes elevated (or possibly feared) enough to earn that title? First, the candidate must be unusual, unique or perhaps even downright bizarre in some way. A huge qualification is that it may inspire a sense of intimidation, unease or even abject fear, to myself and even to others. But also there must be dichotomy, a balance to this darker side. Wonder, awe, curiosity, and amazement must also be present in some level. The candidate for this classification may also have a dark and sinister side (even if only in the minds of some) to it as well. And yet another, yet harder to define characteristic is generally present in some way. In some cases, the object in question is regarded as very pedestrian and ordinary. Something that is possibly part of daily life, always there, and that which demands little thought. A thing that may be even taken for granted. At least until it is no longer there.

Finally, my monsters can be either very limited in scope and localized, known only to myself and a few others. Or, they can be quite monumental in scale and very well known, perhaps even becoming local, regional or even national landmarks. Or anything in between. And finally, any encounter I have with said monster will always be unforgettable. An interaction that I will remember forever, meaning that particular subject leaves a distinctive impression upon me. This happened several years ago when I visited Savannah, Georgia, where I came across such a monster on the way into the town. But more about that one later….